Hymn
by Joon and Poe
Summary: COMPLETE! Part 1:Fated Storms Arc. A Tale of Love, Loyalty and Friendship. AU, Yaoi. Duo's life is never the same after it is touched by death, mystery and romance. He finds within himself and his comrades courage to face demons real and inside each soul.
1. The Sleeper

Hymn  
by Nataku  


part one: the sleeper  
  
He could not bring himself to touch him- afraid he might shatter like the fragile glass of the peace they had once created together. His breaths were short and painful, he could feel the chapped skin of his lips threatening to tear as the cold wind poured in and out of his sore chest.   
  


~ooO*Ooo~  
  


Duo sat in the sill of a frosted window, simply staring out into the darkness which seemed to come from within him, rather than from the unforgiving night that had consumed all. He wanted more than anything to bury his face in his hands and sob into his own unfamiliar skin- but real men don't cry out loud. He pressed the palms of his hand to his eyes fiercely, trying to block out the memories he had tried so hard to escape. But they always found him. Even now.  
  
Broken sounds of soft uncertain movements reached his ears where he sat, motionless in the dark. A quiet cough told him the other had awakened. Curling his sorrow back into a smiling masque he slid from the sill and crossed the old floor of the silent room.  
  
He found Heero awake and alert where he had left him. His legs were somewhat tangled in the midnight-colored sheets though he had apparently tried to free himself. Duo grinned and sat on the edge of the bed, separating the warm sheets from the limbs of the perfect soldier.  
  
How are you feeling? he asked quietly, knowing the stoic boy might not offer a response. You lost a lot of blood,  
  
was the only sound he made at first, followed later by a flat How long have I been out?  
  
Duo looked around, noticing the delicate light which began to dance through the fractured windows and play across Heero's pale skin, lighting his nebulous eyes with an almost human fire. Duo smiled in spite of himself before answering.  
  
Almost two days, he said in a professional sort of tone, trying unsuccessfully to tear his gaze from that of the burning prussian blue beneath the shadows of Heero's disorderly bangs. Do you want something to eat?  
  
Heero nodded, feeling suddenly hungry.  
  
There are some clothes on the night stand and the shower's to your left, Duo glanced over Heero's messy hair once more. you might want to clean up a little.  
  
Heero nodded again as the realization of his present state struck him. He could feel the ache of healing wounds all over his body.  
  
Duo smiled again and headed for the kitchen humming softly to himself. After he had disappeared around the corner Heero heard him call out. You like toast right? He took Heero's silence as a yes, and began to make their breakfast.  
  
Heero lifted himself from the bed and stumbled awkwardly towards the shower, scooping up the black clothing from the night stand on the way. The bathroom was perhaps the most decent part of the entire house. It was spotless and smelled softly of Duo's hair. Distracted, Heero slipped slightly, wincing as several of his wounds strained with his quick movement. He frowned and shut the door, severing himself from the sounds of Duo's quiet humming.  
  
After adjusting the temperature, he stepped into the rain of warm water. He felt noticeably better as the steady beat of the shower washed over him. He closed his eyes- allowing himself to simply enjoy the feel of the water against his bare skin. He ran through all he could remember of what had transpired. He knew he had been sent on a mission with Duo. He could recall discovering it had been a trap, and then- nothing. He figured he had been injured and Duo had brought him here. *_Why_?* He was his partner, Heero told himself. It was his duty. But he could not help lingering on the though of something more. It was a weakness. One he thought he had been prepared for- one he was armoured against. But then, why did the meekest thought of the braided baka send that tigerish unfamiliar feeling through him?  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  
  


Duo had just finished setting the table as Heero emerged from the other end of the small house. With his back turned to the other's approach he continued to hum quietly and busy himself with his cooking.  
  
How hungry are ya? he asked without needing to turn around, his years of living on the streets had given him a kind of sixth sense when it came to the proximity of others.  
  
Heero shrugged, realizing Duo could not see him he said Pretty hungry,  
  
Duo laughed excitedly and turned from the stove with a plate of french toast. He lied the steaming toast on the table and motioned for Heero to sit down. Waiting anxiously for his reaction, though not forgetting to note how delicious Heero looked in the form fitting black clothes he now wore, Duo shifted anxiously.  
  
Heero approached the table slowly, unsure what to make of Duo's cooking. He could not picture Duo as the domestic type. Easing himself into the seat and cautiously lifting a fork he looked again at Duo. He was leaning against the counter, still waiting for Heero to try his breakfast. He bit his bottom lip and tried to be patient.  
  
Heero let out a quiet sigh. If he had survived Wing's self detonation surly he could survive the other boy's cooking. Using his fork to rip a a small corner of toast and lifting it uneasily to his mouth- all too aware now of how hungry he was- he took a tiny bite.  
  
Duo's eyes widened as he awaited the verdict.  
  
Heero could not believe it. It was wonderful. Without looking up he finished the rest of his plate in record time. Duo took this as a sure sign that Heero liked his breakfast and Heero had a second helping.  
  
Feeling more like himself after showering and a warm meal Heero decided the time right to find out exactly what had happened.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  
  
*Two days earlier*  
  


He checked hastily over the mission description again. Something didn't seem right. Something was out of place, though he could not put his finger on it.  
  
Are you ready yet? came the harsh call from the Gundam beside his.  
  
Yeah, yeah, keep your shorts on.  
  
Duo tucked his doubts into the back of his mind as he activated Deathscythe and flew into the open sky. Nothing could come close to this feeling, it seemed nearly instinctive. He drew in a deep breath, savoring as always the roar of the engine around him and the vast weightlessness of space.  
  
Heero's face then blinked onto the screen. He looked slightly off, not his usual cold and composed self. Somethin' wrong? Duo asked curiously, wondering what might have put Heero in this state before their mission had even started. You don't look so good.  
  
Hey, Duo?  
  
  
  
Do you get the feeling were being set up? Heero lowered his eyes to one of the many control panels within WingZero. Something doesn't- Heero could not finish his sentence. Fire started coming from all sides, and they had flown right into a trap. Surrounded, they began to retaliate, though they might as well have been throwing stones for all the good it did. This blitzkrieg seemed thoroughly planned and executed precisely.  
  
Get out of here!Duo heard Heero's muffled voice call through the com as he was hit hard by a beam cannon.  
  
No way buddy, I'm not leaving without you.  
  
*_Baka-* _Heero winced as Zero was hit again. *_Why wont he go_?*   
  
Listen Duo, you have to go. Now! he tried to sound stern without betraying too much emotion. *_Doesn't he understand_?* Heero was not sure he even understood. Was he trying to save Duo?  
  
Sorry Heero, no can do, *_Doesn't he understand_? _I'm not leaving him like this_.* Duo continued to fight, ignoring Heero's commands to save himself. If I go, you're coming with me. We can both escape.  
  
Heero was nearly shaking, rather from anger or pain he did not know. He nodded once and devised the best plan of escape his aching head would allow.  
  
Several minutes later, though it felt like forever- Duo and Heero were making a clever yet dangerous get away. Duo could feel his strength leaving him along with a thick rivulet of warm blood. Impending darkness seemed to loom and push against the corners of his eyes, then he saw him. WingZero had stopped moving. The massive Gundam was floating towards the Deathscythe with a chilling stillness about it.  
  
  
  
No response.  
  
Heero, are OK?  
  
Still nothing.  
  
Dammit Heero, answer me! Duo began to panic. Either Heero was ignoring him- which he reasoned did not seem to be the case as he watched Zero drift closer- or he was hurt, maybe worse. Duo bit his bottom lip as images of Heero's bloodied lifeless form invaded his mind. His voice shook like that of a small frightened child.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
What happened? Heero asked for lack of better words. He looked up to see Duo had not been paying attention. He was standing in front of the kitchens only clouded window transfixed by the color and movement beyond the confines of this house. He seemed to be lost in thought, remembering something lifetimes ago.  
  
Heero cleared his throat, drawing Duo back into the waking world. Heero had to stifle a small gasp as Duo stared back at him with such cold vacant eyes. The dead glossed orbs changed back to the brilliant violet Heero had loved, so quickly he was left wondering if he had not imagined that unforgiving gray gaze which had pierced him from beneath the lashes of Duo's familiar warm eyes.  
  
Did you say something?  
  
Heero remained silent for several moments, unable to shake the cold those gray eyes had bled into him. He shook his head and decided instead to stare at the floor.  


  
~ooO*Ooo~  
  
*Two days earlier*  
  


Although he had managed to get Heero and his Gundam back to the safe house, Duo found himself still consumed by the irrational fear that he had lost him. A thorough check assured him that Heero would be all right, though he had suffered considerable injuries- but nothing the Perfect Soldier could not handle. Duo let out a long sigh, noticing then how badly he had been hurt as well. But he was still conscious, which was more than could be said for Heero. He slumped awkwardly against Duo as he tried his best to carry him into the small house though his own wounds tore and pained every movement.  
  


((_At morn- at noon- at twilight dim-_))  
  


Duo stifled an agonizing cry as he lied Heero on the bed, the strain of his efforts reopening several long gashes along his arms. But for the peaceful slumbering expression on Heero's face, he would have braved Death itself. His hand moved involuntarily to the cross around his neck and the only memories he did not try to forget.  
  
Every bloodied crying pain disappeared at the sight of that sleeping face. Every fight and scar he faced was noting if he could see that serene angelic light in Heero's dreaming smile. All the hurt dripped away beneath his feet as he brushed a hesitant hand across the smooth cheek of the Perfect Soldier.  
  
I'm sorry.  
  
Duo left Heero in the bedroom as he searched the bathroom for any medical supplies that might have been left there. He returned moments later with a basin of water, a small towel and a box of bandages. He sat slowly beside his slumbering soldier and began to clean his wounds with a touch so delicate and comforting it reached Heero through his injured sleep. He leaned into the warm touch without thinking, all he wanted was this closeness, he never wanted it to end- though he feared he would never admit it outside of this soft unconsciousness.  
  
Duo tried to hide his smile as Heero nuzzled his hand. He knew no one could see the hopeless wish in his upturned lips. He knew Heero did not know what he was doing or he never would have moved this close. Closeness was a weakness. It left you venerable- made you helpless. Heero could not afford to be helpless. Not when so much rested on his poor shoulders. The Earth and the colonies needed Heero Yuy to fight for them when they were frightened and without salvation. Heero needed to fight to find himself. He needed the battle to affirm his own worth.  
  
Duo brushed Heero's messy bangs away from his forehead as he cleaned a small wound above his eyebrow. A silent burning rage bit at his every cell as he dabbed the blood away from those hidden blue eyes. If he ever came upon those who had done this to Heero nothing would be able to save them from the horrific deaths awaiting them at Shinigami's hands. Duo scolded himself for caring so much, all he was doing was hurting himself. Heero would never return this love, and so, Duo would never reveal his own. He locked it away with all those awful memories of a past so perfectly remembered. He buried his love with the images and sounds of deaths and cries he could not have prevented- though still blamed himself for. Heero could never know any of it. Never.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
You look tired, you should go back to bed.  
  
Heero looked up as Duo spoke with a hidden concern. He did not want to sleep, he wanted to stay right here and watch Duo as he stared into the false skies beyond the window's dirty glass. He could only watch him as he seemed so involved in something else and would not feel his lonely stare.  
  
Heero looked at the floor again. He stood slowly as his legs still shook beneath him, still unwilling to hold his weight. As he stumbled slightly Duo was instantly by his side, supporting him tenderly.  
  
Take it easy, he whispered in a soft soothing tone you're never going to heal if you over do it on your first day out of bed.  
  
Duo was right, though Heero would never admit it. He was glad for the care of the braided boy and the strong hand around his waist- though he wold never admit that either. He could not afford this weakness.  
  
Duo helped Heero back into bed, but reluctant to leave, pretended to straighten up the room. He lost count of how many times he repositioned his computer equipment before Heero fell into the arms of sleep and he was able to watch him openly- without the fear and the pressure of Heero's questioning stare.  
  
He pulled a chair to Heero's bedside and simply watched him sleep as he had done so many times before.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
  
  
He found himself standing knee deep in a serene translucent lake. His skin tingled as small waves of cool waters lapped against his legs so tenderly- like the caress of petal soft flesh.  
  
The voice was louder now, coming closer. He squinted against the sunlight reflected on the glassy top of the lake, trying to identify who had called his name. It was so familiar. Suddenly, the silhouette of a slender girl breathed across the horizon and cast her shadow onto the water. He knew he recognized her, but could not place her voice nor remember the details of her face.  
  
_Wake up_,  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Wake up. Heero nudged the boy sleeping in the chair beside him with his head bent onto the covers. Duo woke suddenly- jumping from the chair as he realized where he was.  
  
he called quickly as he tried to smooth his rumpled clothes.  
  
Heero merely looked at him with the ever present question in his eyes. A question Duo would rather not answer. He looked instead at his watch, hoping for some distraction to remove those cold blue eyes from his nervous face.  
  
It's about lunch time, he said casually. Do ya want me to go pick something up?  
  
Heero shrugged and Duo was all to happy to leave the room- and the house for that matter. He needed some fresh air. A brisk walk into town would do him worlds of good. Without looking back, he slipped on his coat and shut the door behind him.  
  
  
  
Duo had always enjoyed watching carefree smiling people stroll along the quiet streets of the colony. He wished he could be one of them. They were so sheltered, so naive. It was comforting to see the death and War beyond the colony had not changed the hearts of these people. They spoke and laughed and moved with a blind air of happiness which confused yet delighted Duo.  
  
He loved nothing more than to sit in the park and watch the children play and giggle and fall sleepily into the waiting arms of their parents. Had his parents once loved him like that? He often found himself wondering what they were like- his mother and father. Were they kind and brave like Quatre? Where they strong and patient like Trowa? Where they honorable and quiet like Wufei? As a child he used to spend hours daydreaming of life with his parents. He would imagine things like this- playing in the park, going to a circus or even just listening to his mother's soothing voice sing as he fell asleep in her arms. Had she loved him terribly before she died? Had his father? Did he love them too?  
  
His thoughts then turned to the girl in his dream. He still could not quite remember though he knew he had heard that voice so many times before. He searched his memories for that voice. Where had he heard her before? Had it been in a similar dream? No- he knew she was real, he just could not remember, though something in him knew he should. Her voice was calm and placid,, though not as still as Heero's. Her words held a certain warmth and care he could feel inside himself, like hot cocoa on a winter's eve, or a blazing autumn fire paled against a wondrous sunset. She was kind and strong, even courageous. He did not know how he could tell so much from the few words she had spoken- but somehow he knew. He remembered that much.  
  
Duo stopped in front of a small Chinese restaurant, noticing they had takeout, he made his way inside and waited to be helped. A tall chinese boy about his age and strangely resembling Wufei took Duo's order and politely showed him to a seat where he could await the preparation of his food.  
  
After nearly fifteen minutes, Duo was handed a brown paper bag full of warm food. The rich smells were enough to cause his mouth to water. He paid the Wufei-like boy, and made his way back to the safe house, hoping to get back before the food was cold and undesirable.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Heero woke from a light dreamless sleep as he heard the front door swish open and click shut, followed by the unmistakable sounds of Duo. Heero had to fight back a smile as Duo called out, and scampered exuberantly into the room Heero now occupied.  
  
Okaeri nasai, Heero said quietly as Duo plopped down on the bed beside him.  
  
I hope Chinese is all right with you, he said as he began to pull the small white takeout boxes from the bag he carried with him. Heero nodded and began eating anxiously- eager to regain his strength. Duo spoke animatedly of several people he had come across during his venture into town, but Heero was not paying much attention. He stopped eating and simply watched the movements of Duo's mouth as he talked quickly about the Wufei-boy in the restaurant.  
  
Though you could not tell by the look on his face, Heero adored the sound of Duo's voice- even when he paid no attention to the individual words. He could sit hour upon hour and just listen to the deep soothing hush of the other's miraculous sounds.  
  
Duo continued to chatter until the light began to disappear from the windows, but he never told Heero what had happened after he had lost consciousness which did not bother Heero much as long as Duo continued to speak. Soon his eyelids felt heavy and the gentle call of sleep consumed him.  
  
Quatre called a few days ago, just to say hi'. Says he's been real busy with running the family business and all but- Duo stopped talking as his gaze fell upon Heero's closed eyes. He smiled and pulled the blankets around him, tucking him into bed like a child. He ran his fingers over the other boys disorderly hair and smiled again, a sad smile this time. A smile he would never know.  


  
~ooO*Ooo~  


  
  
  
Without opening his eyes he knew where he was. He could feel the swaying water on his legs and the embrace of warm sunlight on his face.  
  
_Duo_. . . The girls voice seemed sad now, perhaps disappointed though she hid her emotion well. But he could still feel it. _Why wont you look at me_?  
  
He was startled to hear her voice so close to him. She sounded less than an arms reach away. He opened his eyes then to see the girl standing right in front of him. So close that he could only see her eyes. He knew those eyes- but from where? Where had he seen those brilliant blue eyes before? These eyes were trembling slightly though it seemed she was fighting harshly not to cry and seem brave.  
  
_I'm dying_, she said softly, barely loud enough for Duo to hear. _but I don't want anyone to cry for me. I don't want them to be sad. Will you tell them, please_? The girl looked away from Duo's eyes. Her honey blond hair was lifted by a light wind and twirled around her solemn features. She took a step backwards, extending the space between herself and the unusually quiet Duo. Then he knew.  
  
  
  
She smiled halfheartedly. A smile full of tears she hid from her eyes and cheeks. She then closed her eyes and tilted her face towards the sun, letting the comforting light dance on her skin.  
  
_I want you to promise me something_, she said without turning her face from the warm hold of the sunlight. _promise you'll come and see me again. I don't want to be alone. Not like this_.  
  
I don't understand, Duo said softly as he found his voice again.  
  
_You will_, she assured him. _soon enough_.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Duo woke to an unfamiliar darkness. He had long ago come to know darkness, but this was different- somehow, wrong. He rubbed sleepily at his eyes and tried to shake away the dream of Relena, and her seemingly courageous acceptance of her own death. He felt without seeing that he was stretched out on the couch, but he did not remember falling asleep or even lying down. He looked at his watch- Two AM.  
  
*_Now what_?* he asked himself. He knew he would not be able to get back to sleep, but it was too early to be awake. He remained on the couch, curling his knees up to his chest and hugging himself protectively. It was an childhood comfort habit he had not yet broken. He felt oddly safe in his own small armoured ball. He slowed his breaths and tried just to relax, hoping beyond hope that he might return to sleep.  
  
This hope was soon crushed by a rushed stream of sounds from the bedroom. Duo leapt to his feet, nearly toppling over as he had tried to stand to quickly. He hastily regained his balance and darted towards the bedroom. He opened the door- instantly greeted by Heero and a gun.  
  
Duo stammered, raising his hands slightly as Heero's eyes darted back and forth along the room.  
  
Did you hear something? he asked without lowering his weapon.  
  
Uh, yeah, Duo said with distinct unease.  
  
Heero nodded and pushed past Duo and into the darkened living room. The same dash of sounds broke through the silence sending Heero quickly into a fighting stance though the fast movement sent a hot pain down his still weak legs.  
  
What is it? Duo asked in a faint whisper.  
  
_Shh._ . . Heero strained to pick up another burst of noise. Turning in the direction the sound had last come from he motioned for Duo to stay where he was- Duo promptly refused with a swift shake of the head, then proceeded to follow Heero through the eerily dark halls.  
  
Quick footsteps sounded, followed by a thundering crash. Before Duo knew what was happening he hit the floor hard with a warm weight on top of him. Assuming the close noises to be some sort of danger, Heero had tackled Duo to the ground behind the couch. Duo was, to say the least, shocked.  
  
He did not know what confused him more- the fact that he was now on the floor, or that Heero had sent him there in an attempt to protect him. He could feel Heero's hot breath against his neck as the footsteps came through the door. A brilliant light shot across the room making both boys squint, then the footsteps stopped in front of them.  
  
Oh my!  
  
Heero rolled partially off Duo as he recognized the owner of the surprised exclamation to Be Quatre Raberba Winner. Duo sat bolt upright blushing so badly he seemed to be on fire. Quatre stared blankly at the two of them sprawled on the floor- Heero still slightly on top of Duo.  
  
It's not what you think! Duo sputtered, waving his arms slightly. Quatre did not say anything and Heero tried to hide the blush on his own cheeks with greater success than Duo.  
  
Quatre shook his head but still did not speak. Duo then noticed Quatre was shaking lightly.  
  
What's wrong? he asked as he pulled himself to his feet, quickly followed by Heero. They stood several feet apart, both feeling more than a little awkward.  
  
Quatre opened his mouth as if to speak but closed it and shook his head again. He turned around quickly as more footsteps neared their position. Duo wished idly that Heero might tackle him again but was quickly brought back to a rational line of thought as Trowa's sleek form entered the room behind Quatre. Quatre stared pleadingly at Trowa, begging for the words he himself could not speak.  
  
Trowa nodded at his fair-haired companion and then said in a low hushed voice; Relena is dead.  
  
Duo stared blankly at Trowa. She could not be dead- could she? She was the Dove of Peace, the hope of the people- how could she die?  
  
Heero asked in the same quiet tone Trowa had spoken in.  
  
  
  
Duo's head was spinning.  
  
When did it happen? he asked in a broken sort of voice.  
  
Quatre began shakily, She was shot less than ten miles from here, we were going to go to the hospital- his voice trailed off and Trowa, after giving Quatre's shoulder a sympathetic squeeze- continued;  
  
The assassin shot off two rounds before escaping. Relena was taken to the nearest hospital where she held on for about sixteen hours, Duo looked at his watch, sixteen hours ago he had been asleep- and had visited Relena's waters for the first time. We caught the first flight to the colony, but we were too late. Noin contacted our shuttle fifteen minutes ago and told us- we came here instead, I thought you knew.  
  
Heero shook his head. Sixteen hours and no one had bothered to contact him.  
  
Was she in a lot of pain?  
  
The other three pilots turned to face Duo as he asked his trembling question.  
  
Trowa said in a strong calming voice. she wasn't  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
The four of them sat around the kitchen table of the small safe house. Trowa had his arm around Quatre who was still trembling softly. Duo secretly wished Heero might make some move to comfort him, but he seemed just as shocked and angry as Duo.  
  
Do they have any suspects?  
  
  
  
Duo stared into his coffee mug. *_Relena told me she was dying_.* His mind kept finding itself dwelling on the dream he had had less than an hour ago- right as Relena had drawn her last anguished breaths._ *I'm so confused_.*  
  
Heero stole several sideways glances at Duo who seemed ready to faint. He was taking this harder than any of them had imagined. Duo and Relena had not always gotten along, seeing as though the first time they met Duo found himself playing the bad guy in one of Heero's numerous attempts to extinguish the young Princess. But apparently, he had cared. He had spent time with the vibrant well spoken girl who had become the Vice-Foreign Minister. He had even thought of her as a friend.   
  


((_Maria! thou hast heard my Hymn!_))  
  


Duo scarcely recognized his own voice as he asked the question they were all wondering, though none could hope to answer. It was wordless. All they knew was Relena Peacecraft was dead- and her assassin remained free.  
  
We should all get some rest, Quatre suggested after a long painful silence. Trowa nodded and helped the blond boy to his feet. We'll see you later?  
  
Don't go, Duo begged in an almost breathless voice. There's a spare room, Quatre smiled weakly and Trowa nodded again.  
  
  
  
Quatre and Trowa settled quickly into the small room and after a long agonizing day, fell asleep quickly within each other's arms.  
  
Heero and Duo remained where they were for some time. Duo did not know whether he wanted more to cry or track down the son of a bitch who had done this and kill him with his bare hands. He looked up to find Heero staring back at him. After an all too short moment they both looked away.  
  
You should go to bed, Duo said in a selfless voice after Heero had averted his gaze. You need to rest.  
  
I can't, Heero said without realizing. He was too shocked to know what to do anymore.  
  
Duo said, trying to smile but failing miserably. He took Heero's hand. He expected him to pull away and perhaps punch him, but Heero made no move to sever the grasp of Duo's warm fingers. As he helped him to his feet, Heero noticed a large bandage beneath Duo's shirt which he had been trying his best to hide. He started to ask him about it but decided it better to wait- at least until morning.  
  
Duo led Heero back to the bedroom with the midnight-colored sheets and hesitantly released his hand. He then turned and walked back to the couch where he lied down and curled back into himself, seeking warmth, or perhaps comfort.  
  
He nearly jumped as someone spread a thick blanket over him. He looked up to see Heero standing beside the couch. His face remained expressionless nevertheless, a deep hurt resounded in those prussian blue eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something, but could not find the words. Duo sat up as he felt that hurt in his eyes dance through the air and into his own heart.  
  
Do you want to sit down?  
  
Heero nodded and sat beside Duo on the soft welcoming cushions.  
  
I can't believe it.  
  
Duo had never heard this kind of pain in Heero's voice. His shoulders shook ever so slightly. He could not stand to see him this way- so broken. Without caring about the consequences, Duo leaned against Heero and much to his surprise- Heero leaned back.  
  
She doesn't want you to be sad, he closed his eyes as he spoke. He shifted slightly and lied his head in Heero's lap. It felt right. He felt safe and warm here with him. she doesn't want us to cry, but even as he spoke, tears escaped his eyes- no matter how fiercely he fought them back.  
  
_Shh_. . . He stroked Duo's hair tenderly, soothing him with his touch and unspoken compassion.  
  
Duo fell into the arms of sleep there, lying so close to Heero, his soft finger tips gliding through his hair and over his tear stained cheeks.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
_You came back_, Relena had her back to him as he appeared in the calm transparent waters. _but you broke your promise_.  
  
I'm sorry.  
  
_Don't be_, she said in a whisper as she turned to him. _I just don't want you to be sad_. She took several steps across the sun-lit liquid.  
  
  
  
Relena stopped walking. She smiled sadly at him and reached to brush his bangs away from his eyes. _I don't know why_.   
  
Who did this to you?  
  
She shook her head, _That's not why I'm here_.  
  
I don't understand Relena, why did you have to die?  
  
_Don't think of it like that_, she said in a soft diplomatic voice. _I'm here, with you now aren't I?_ But she knew it was not the same. It was not real. She sighed and turned her face to the sun once more. _It's wonderful isn't it_? _It's a beautiful day_.  
  
Duo could see nothing beautiful about it. He could not understand why she had to die. The people needed her. He needed her. In these past months they had become closer than any of the other pilots could imagine. She was his confidant- his kindred spirit. He trusted her with his darkest secrets, and she confided her everything in him. He had found in her a friend he could never have fathomed and feared he did not deserve- now God had taken her away. Just like all the others.  
  
How long will you stay with me like this?  
  
_Until you don't need me anymore_, she whispered.  
  
Forever then.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
When he woke Heero was gone- like he had never been there at all. Duo was afraid he had dreamt that loving touch just as he dreamt of Relena. They had received word that her funeral was going to be held on the Earth on October eleventh. They had several days to make arrangements, the Sanc Kingdom was waiting for them once again. Wufei had called to give his condolences and promise to meet them at the cathedral. Duo spent the next days somewhere between a dream and his reality. Relena's ghost returned to his nightly, giving him what comfort she could. She tried to remind him of happier times- of times they had spent together.  
  
Trowa and Quatre kept to themselves, and Heero remained as cold and hard as ever, but with a certain solemnness about him. A sadness that hurt Duo. He tried to smile and laugh and joke but his masque was slipping. He could not play the clown forever. He was not strong enough.  
  
_Are you ever going to tell him_? Relena had asked him one night as they walked along the shore of her lake.  
  
Tell who what? Duo had asked quizzically.  
  
Relena had merely shrugged and changed the subject, but that devious little spark usually found in Duo played in her eyes.


	2. A Dream Within a Dream

part two: a dream within a dream  
  
What are you doing little one?  
  
Duo turned away from a tall marble statue of the Virgin Mary as the deep calm voice of Father Maxwell invaded his silence.  
  
I wanted to know why he took them, Duo said plainly as he turned back to the statue. He was much younger, his braid was shorter and he had about him a soft sort of innocence. A purity only children possess.  
  
  
  
My mom and dad.  
  
Father Maxwell sighed and sat beside the young american boy. He glanced up at the statue which had transfixed the usually rambunctious boy with a sad little smile.  
  
Do you know who that is little one?  
  
Sister Helen?  
  
Father Maxwell could not help but laugh as the small Duo confused the statue to be one of the nun who helped Father Maxwell look after him. he said as he regained his composure. That is Mary, the mother of Jesus.  
  
The mother of God? he asked curiously.  
  
In a way, yes. Father Maxwell then turned his attention to the painted walls and stained glass windows of the vast cathedral. If you don't mind me asking, why did you pick this particular statue?  
  
Duo blinked and rubbed at one of his big violet eyes. I dunno, he said with a shrug. She looked like she'd know.  
  
Father Maxwell smiled. He took the cross from around his neck and handed it to Duo. Do you want me to teach you a prayer little one?  
  
Less than a day later- he was dead.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
_What were you dreaming about?_ Relena's curious indigo eyes peered into him from across the branch of the tree he sat in. _You fell asleep_.  
  
I didn't know I could do that, Duo said with a confused look on his face. I'm already asleep.  
  
_It doesn't always have to make sense_, Relena said with a soft laugh. _anything is possible here I suppose_.  
  
Duo laughed and jumped from the tree in a cat-like manner. What do you wanna do now ojosan? He tapped his foot, waiting impatiently for Relena to find something for them to do.  
  
_You're about to wake up. Maybe next time_.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
His eyes crept open slowly, lingering on a vision of Relena's smile- even if it was not real it brought him volumes of comfort and hope. He rubbed at one of his big violet eyes with the back of his hand, dusting the sleep from the corners of his mind. After yawning loudly he rolled onto his back and stared for some time at nothing at all. It was getting harder to tell whether he was awake or asleep. Having fallen into a dream of his past while dreaming of Relena and her sun dappled lake left him somewhat confused. How could he dream when he already was? Perhaps he had not been dreaming at all.  
  
He groaned softly and willed his body into a sitting position. Thin strands of pale light rested on the panes of the stained windows. He looked at his watch- six AM. He could not remember the last time he had slept soundly without waking at some insane hour. It was really starting to piss him off.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
This doesn't feel right, said Quatre as he ran a hesitant hand through his golden hair. We should be doing something to aid in the search for whoever did this.  
  
Trowa's eyes communicated a comfort and understanding words could not. He pulled the small blond into his arms, breathing in the scents so uniquely his.  
  
I feel so helpless.  
  
Trowa remained silent as he hugged his koi tightly and buried his face in the sun-colored locks of his beautiful hair. You're not helpless. We have done everything we could, he leaned to kiss Quatre's forehead softly. all we can do now is hope, and wait for justice to be served.  
  
Quatre giggled quietly. You sound like Wufei.  
  
Trowa smiled and leaned to capture Quatre's lips in a tender kiss.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  
  


Duo shoved several black shirts into a small suitcase of the same color, followed by pants, a hair brush and a few other essential items. There shuttle did not depart for several more hours, but Duo knew he was already behind in his chores. The other three pilots had packed what little they had and loaded it into the small rented car in the pre-dawn hours. Duo of course, had spent much time trying to go back to sleep- cursing everything in site when he could not, and promptly hiding under the covers when the light outside told him it was too late now.  
  
His stomach growled loudly, reminding him he had not so much as snacked in almost two days. Grief was a funny thing. It seemed to affect everyone differently. Quatre and Trowa seemed more dependent on each other, Heero went into soldier mode, and Duo. . . Duo was a wreak. Even with Relena's nightly visitations and comforting words- from Quatre at least, Duo just wanted to crawl under a rock and stay there forever. His jokes became few, and far apart. His smile seemed faded and painful though he plastered it to his lips whenever he thought someone might be watching him. He found himself dreading the flight back to the Earth. Relena's death continued to be surreal in his eyes. He could still see her and speak to her when he wanted to. Going back to the Sanc Kingdom, attending her funeral- it would make it all real and unchangeable. It made it final. He did not want that.  
  
He was torn from his fears and tortured thoughts by Quatre's voice calling him from the kitchen. Duo felt the full force of his hunger and decided he should have something to eat before his mind convinced his stomach he was too sick to have anything. He silently slipped from the room and walked slowly towards the sound of Quatre's voice.  
  
I made some rice, said Trowa as Duo's shadow crept across the black and white tiled floor. and there's some left over stir fry in the fridge.  
  
Rice is fine, Duo replied with a forced smile.  
  
Trowa nodded and handed him the steaming bowl. Duo thanked him and cautiously began to eat his lunch. Mostly he just stared into his bowl- rice had never seemed so fascinating before.  
  
Where's Heero? he asked after far too many minutes of a far too still silence settled upon the small kitchen. He had noticed the absence of the soldier upon entering the room but had thought it best not to draw any attention to himself as his rice remained almost completely untouched.  
  
Quatre shrugged, but Trowa nodded towards stairs. Duo replied with a nod of his own and left the table along with his uneaten food.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Pain. Anger. Sorrow. Anguish. Hurt. Agony. Frustration. Sadness. Regret. He felt so many things, though his eyes never changed. He cried silently- without tears. Could one even call it crying? He could want to cry or could feel he was crying, but that was all it was. Empty. Cold. Motionless. He could not explain why he cared so much. He should not care- should he? A soldier had no room for compassion or tears. So why? Why did he feel this way?  
  


((_In Joy and wo-_))  
  


Penny for your thoughts?  
  
He snapped around, nearly tumbling from the ledge of the small balcony where he sat. He noticed Duo looked more than slightly amused at catching him off guard like this though he didn't stop to gloat and giggle. It's nothing, he said coldly, fixing Duo with his best Omae o Korosu' glare.  
  
Duo knew he was lying. He also knew pressing the question would either earn him a black eye or a free flying lesson off the balcony, neither of which he really needed at this point in time. He contented himself with watching the wind dance through Heero's hair and the soft light of the afternoon play across his smooth skin. He was so beautiful. Angelic.  
  
We should be going soon.  
  
Duo nodded shallowly and turned back to the inner warmth of the house.  
  
  
  
  
  
Heero looked out into the colony. Never mind.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
I already know my prayers. The little Duo turned the cross Father Maxwell had handed him over and over in his hands. It was silver, close to three inches long and delicately carved. It was beautiful- breathtaking. He turned to hand it back, but Father Maxwell shook his head.  
  
It is yours now little one, he said with a warm smile. will you treasure it always?  
  
The young Duo nodded, at a very rare loss for words. He fastened the small clamp of the chain behind his neck without lifting his eyes from the hallow silver hanging now around his thin neck.  
  
Do you know of a man named Edgar Allan Poe?  
  
Is he a priest too?  
  
Father Maxwell answered with a chuckle. he was a famous poet long ago on the Earth. After saying this, he pulled a small tattered book from within his coat.  
  
Is he the guy who wrote about that bird? Duo asked, crinkling his nose slightly. It wasn't scary, he said with an air of dignified bravery though Father Maxwell noted the squeamish flinch as he affirmed Duo's suspicions.  
  
That's not a prayer, said Duo hotly.  
  
Father Maxwell chuckled again. You are right little one. The Raven' is a magnificent piece of work though not in fact a prayer.  
  
Duo stared at him with abundant confusion in his large dark eyes.  
  
He wrote many other poems and stories, Father Maxwell continued, there is one far smaller and quite unknown. . .  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Relena did not come to him then. She knew it would only hurt him now. He needed some time alone in his mind. She sat in a high branch of one of the Sakura trees along the shore of the warm fragrant lake, simply staring into the calm twirling waters while the setting sun embraced her through the tree's rosy blossoms.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  
  


So ashen. So still- The Sanc Kingdom was a melancholy place now. The streets were empty. Even the sun seemed to shy away from the once jovial kingdom. There was no laughter- no smiles on the faces of the people. They looked as lifeless as the pilots felt as their shuttle docked at Sanc's spaceport. The excruciatingly long flight had passed in such a silence Duo feared he had gone deaf. He had fallen into a light sleep during the flight. Memories of a childhood so short and long ago still swayed through his clouded mind- but no Relena. For the first time since her death she had not come to him with words of comfort and wisdom. He did not know how he could get through this without her.  
  
Pagan met the four at the port and drove his silent black clad passengers to the Cathedral in which Relena's service was to be held. Never before had something so wondrous seemed so wrong. The tall beauty of this holy place was lost on all those who stood within its painted walls. Smiling cherubs lined the walls with a graceful sweep of infant wings. They should not be smiling, Duo thought to himself. The Dove of Peace had been torn from the crystalline skies. Her wings were broken and that light in her eyes faded. The angels should not be smiling on a day like this.  
  
Wufei was seated in a back pew, as to not draw attention to himself. Despite the tragic death of this Dove, there was still a battle to be had, and he was still a Gundam pilot. He stood as he caught sight of the other pilots, nodding sympathetically to Duo. Wufei was sometimes too observant and clever. The pain and sorrow hiding behind Duo's eyes was sadly not hidden well enough- Wufei picked up the scent immediately. Duo was hurting, and no one else seemed to care.  
  
This was it. It was_ *real* _now. There was nothing he could do. He could not change the past, and he would never see her again. Death was forever.  
  
All of you are here today to remember Relena Derlain Peacecraft, The tear filled voice of Lucrezia Noin sounded through the vast marbled walls of the weeping cathedral. a life ended much too soon by the ugliness of war.  
  
Noin continued to speak of politics and Relena's fine achievements, drawing sorrow from the crowd and her own dark eyes.  
  
_This isn't how Relena wanted to be remembered_! a voice inside of Duo screamed. _She was kindness and light. She was just a girl for Christ's sake! She never wanted any of this!_' He could feel the anger and hurt swelling within him. None of these bubbling politicians knew Relena. Not for what she truly was. A frightened, timid little girl hiding behind this false pretense they groomed her for. Princess of Sanc, Vice-Foreign minister, the Dove of Peace- Queen of the World. She just wanted to be a girl. She wanted to eat ice cream and play in the wildflowers, go shopping and have real friends. Not the countless nobles who glomped onto her at banquets and balls, those faceless, nameless people who saw her only for her position and not the breathing, bleeding human being she was.  
  
He wanted to march to the front of the glorious church and curse them all, to tell them who Relena really was. What she believed, what she loved, what she wanted out of this poor shackling life. Everything she did, everything she sacrificed- it was for the Earth and Space, for the people she loved. None of this was for her or her own world position and greed, nothing ever hurt as long as it was for the good of her people- of all people. Duo was disgusted to see them sob over her this way. He could not believe how they disgraced her memory with thoughts of unfinished speeches and the job, not the girl. He wanted to cry. But he did not have the luxury of such an indulgence.  
  
Heero found himself stealing glances at the braided pilot beside him. He seemed to be waging some fierce internal battle and losing drastically. His body shook so softly no eye but that of the Perfect Soldier could detect the tremble of the other. It hurt him to see Duo this way, without a smile, even when he did not mean it that smile brightened the darkest of nights and healed the deepest of wounds. In his heart he knew he cared, cared that Duo was hurting, but his mind would not let him trust his own heart. In the heart was love, compassion, and weakness. And so the soldier fought his own battle- wanting nothing more than to gather Duo into his arms and whisper away his pain- but knowing he never could. He could only be what he was. When faced with two demons, you choose the one you know. He knew the fight, the blood, the glory. A soldier's life. That was all he could be. Nothing more. No matter how much it hurt inside.  
  
To Heero, the remainder of the day passed quickly, almost too quickly. A blur of crying eyes and swish of dark clouds found him in his rented room, pouring over some meaningless mission report or another and wishing just to sleep. Nothing seemed to make much sense these past days. In all his training, all his battles, nothing prepared him for anything like this. Lives were taken on the battlefield where men were made and broken. Not like this. So cowardly. Relena had probably not even had time to react. Bang, bang and she was lying in a pool of her own blood. She never regained consciousness. In all the hours she lied motionless in the hospital bed with soulless machines breathing for her and beating her heart, she never opened her eyes. She never got to say good bye. No one did.  
  


((_in good and ill_-))  
  


He had almost forgotten how beautiful a sunset was. And the stars- the moon, one could not adore them like this from the colonies. The Earth made them seem almost magical. Every night, as the sun crept below the horizon these shimmering bantam dancers whirled into the darkened skies to lift the veils of who we truly were.  
  
They seemed to go on forever. But nothing was forever- nothing but death. Shinigami had claimed another. Duo cursed himself for taking on this role, this name of he who had taken so many of his loved ones- and now, Relena. Everything he ever loved, everything he touched died. He was Shinigami. He was death himself, and with his immortal touch, had extinguished the life of another undeserving soul.  
  
How long could he continue this way? Battle. Death. Blood. Forgiveness? How much longer would he be able to live with himself? How many fathers and sons, mothers and daughters would he have to kill? How many more families would he destroy? Is that how he lost his family? Had they died valiantly in some desolate field of broken promises? He wanted to know the truth. With all of his heart he wanted just to know. He did not even know his real name. He did not know who he was. Was he the frightened street rat Father Maxwell had taken into his kind embrace? Was he the pilot of a killing machine? The God of Death? When you have been pretending for so long, how do you know which one is your mask? How do you find your heart after burring it under so many smiles?  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Please, come and stay with us. The small blond had pleading eyes no one could refuse. Those big indigo orbs were so innocent and pure.  
  
I don't know, Quatre. I don't wanna impose er,  
  
Don't be ridiculous! Quatre shouted, somewhat flustered.   
  
Well, when you put it that way, Duo said sarcastically, placing a hand behind his head and laughing quietly. I'd love to stay with you.  
  
Quatre chirped with abundant enthusiasm. That just leaves Heero- but Quatre was cut short by the quick shake of Trowa's head. he continued with a slight pout. Heero wont be coming then? At this Trowa nodded, and Duo wore his own faint pout.  
  
Duo said with a labored smile. I'll just get my bag. With that, he bounded down the halls of the lavish hotel they had been boarding in and to the door of his own room. He rummaged through his deep pockets in search of the illusive key, and after swearing and deciding pocketless spandex might make things easier, their little game of hide and seek was ended and Duo let himself into his room.  
  
Packing was a quick task since he had brought very little with him. Within minutes he had filled his bag and turned to leave the lavish room.  
  
_Knock, knock_.  
  
Duo jumped slightly, realizing the knock came not from the door to his room, but of that connecting his room to Heero's. Anxiously, he dropped his bag and opened the thin door.  
  
Hey, Heero.  
  
Heero did not offer a greeting, instead he looked past Duo, seeing his bag packed and ready to go.  
  
You're leaving?  
  
Duo paused, picking up on a the note of disappointment in Heero's voice. Quatre invited me to stay at his place for a while.  
  
Heero looked at his feet, finding them suddenly fascinating.  
  
Why'd you decide to stay behind? Duo asked quietly.  
  
I have a mission, Heero said, not raising his eyes from the azure-colored carpet. He wished the peace of the world might do without him for once. He wanted to go with the others to Quatre's estate and dream away a day without war and death and destruction. A day to dream away with Duo. Guess this is good bye then.  
  
No, not good bye said Duo with a small sincere smile. just see ya round.  
  
See you around, Duo.  
  
Duo nodded once before Heero drew his door shut, severing himself from that little smile no one else ever knew.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
_You're no fun today_, Relena pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. _what's wrong_? She raised a honey eyebrow curiously.  
  
Nothin' ojosan, said Duo with a smile and a shrug. But Relena was not convinced. She knew him better than that.  
  
_You can't fool me that easily_, she said, jabbing an accusing finger at him. _Something's wrong and you wont be able to hide it very long. I know how you are_. Satisfied with her miniscule victory over the frustrated Duo she lowered her hands to her hips, waiting patiently for him to spill the beans.  
  
And what exactly is that supposed to mean? Duo scoffed. You know' how I am huh? Duo crossed his own arms and stared her down, utterly refusing to speak another word.  
  
_Are you still mad at me_? Relena asked suddenly. _I said I was sorry Duo, I thought you wanted some time to yourself_.  
  
Duo just turned away from her, remaining oddly silent.  
  
_I didn't mean to upset you, you know that. I just didn't want to confuse you either._ Relena sighed deeply, taking a moment to gather her thoughts before continuing. _I know this has been hard on you. Just tell me if you want me to leave_.  
  
Hearing this, Duo spun around, grabbing her harshly by the shoulders winning a small gasp from the princess.  
  
he asked, sarcasm dripping from the word. Relena, I don't think I'd hold onto my sanity long if you left now. Not like this. Slowly, he loosened his grip on her slender shoulders, casting her a slight smile in apology and the subject was instantly dropped.  
  
_How are things at Quatre's_? she asked shyly into the unsettling silence.  
  
Duo chirped happily. Good food, fancy parties, and someone else cleans up after you. Why didn't ya ever tell me how fun this rich living stuff was?  
  
_With wealth and power comes responsibility_, she said, sounding like a crinkled old noble. She then wrinkled her nose at her own words and opted to climb into a low branch of the majestic Sakura tree. _It is pretty nice though_. She leaned her back against the trunk of the wise old tree and motioned for Duo to sit beside her. He quickly obliged, hopping into the tree like some mystical fae creature.  
  
What was it like?  
  
  
  
Duo flushed slightly and began playing with the end of his braid. Umm, well. . . Dying I guess. Did it hurt?  
  
Relena smiled softly, wondering how long Duo had been contemplating whether or not to ask this question. Judging by his sudden discomfort and the way he was fidgeting it had been some time, perhaps from the begging. Could she blame him? Death was the last mystery men had. Sure they had their theories and assumptions, but no one really knew, unless of course they had experienced it first hand.  
  
_Only at first_, she said sadly, drawing another deep breath. _It's like dreaming, you're not sure what is real and what you are simply wanting to believe. It's not like I though it would be. No booming voice, no bright light. It's almost like being wrapped in a big warm blanket. You just sort of, fall asleep._  
  
At this point, Duo had stopped moving completely. He stared at her through his unruly bangs, clinging to every word she spoke.  
  
_Why do you ask_?  
  
I. . . well, Duo went back to playing with his braid. I just, umm. . . I've killed so many people, and well. . .  
  
Relena began to understand. _You did what you had to Duo. You fight to give the people back their smiles. You're doing the right thing._  
  
How do you know that? Duo shouted, his hands balling themselves into fierce tight fists. How do you know this is the right path?  
  
_I. . . Duo_,  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
He woke in a tangle of sweaty sheets and knotted hair. He was breathing hard, feeling as though he had been running for his life. _The right thing_. What was it? Which path led to peace, and which led to more war and decay? He said he was fighting to return the smiles to the faces of the people, but the people did not want their smiles back. They thrived on destruction and battle. They were not human anymore. They were no better than animals. They had become soulless and blood thirsty. Why should he fight for them? Why risk his own life- his sanity, for those who sought nothing more than to destroy themselves along with the Earth and space? _Heero_. That was why he fought. Why he continued to torture himself this way. Heero knew nothing but war. He killed, he destroyed, he completed his mission. Duo envied him. He was like a machine. All the death, all the sorrow- nothing penetrated his armour. He was the perfect soldier. Heero fought for peace, but when the fight was over, what became of the soldiers with nothing but blood to live for?  
  
That was why, why he fought beside him- why he fought at all, he wanted to be like Heero- yet, shuddered at the thought. Emotions were not needed in wars. But after the war? Perhaps if Heero could teach Duo to fight, Duo could teach Heero how to feel when the fire and death was over.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
How is he?  
  
Quatre hid his surprise with a small smile. he said, noting the concern in those prussian eyes. He started eating again. Instead of leaving with an empty stomach he has emptied the kitchen.  
  
Heero almost laughed. That sounded like Duo, no kitchen was safe with Shinigami on the loose.  
  
He misses you.  
  
  
  
He misses you, he said again, searching Heero's eyes for any sign of comprehension. Do you want to talk to him?  
  
I shouldn't be much longer here, he said, changing the subject quickly. I'll meet up with the rest of you by the end of the week.  
  
All right, Quatre said, deciding it best not to start an argument with the soldier now. I'll have a room prepared.  
  
Heero nodded once and severed the connection, his face swiftly disappearing from the video link on the phone.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Heero stared at the blank screen for several minutes, Quatre's words chasing themselves in circles in his mind. *_He misses me_?* He felt the night lurking in the corners of his room, bleeding darkness across the blank walls. He mechanically switched on the lamp beside him. The dim false light spilled across the papers lying on the desk in front of him. World mourns its lost Queen. read the headline of a local paper. Sanc seeks new ruler. It seems the people had not forgotten the death of their Dove. Relena had not been buried more than a fortnight when Sanc's government began searching the skies for a soul to fill her delicate shoes.   
  
Duo missed him. Heero's thoughts quickly fled the Sanc Kingdom only to dwell on the one thought that seemed to matter now. Duo. He allowed his imagination to indulge in a dream of his braided angel lying in a sun drenched patch of grass. His lidded eyes closed languidly, masking that radiant violet from all the world. He imagined himself lying beside him, watching him slumber, breathing heavily the lily scented air. He dreamt of a world without wars and death, of a world where he and Duo could finally be together and at peace. Peace. The word was frightening and cherished all at once. When the fighting disappeared, and Heero Yuy was nothing but a used and broken soldier, when he was useless and alone, would Duo want him? Where do all the soldiers go when they are no longer needed? Those bred for the battle, those who knew nothing but death- where did they belong when the blood was gone? Where did he belong?   
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Check mate. Trowa stared across the chess board at the downcast eyes of his companion. He raised a chestnut eyebrow quizzically. It was not often Trowa won a strategical game against the small blond pilot. Quatre was the brains of the operation. He had saved their skins in countless battles with his cat-like reflexes and vast tactical knowledge.   
  
Quatre jumped slightly, his disoriented eyes meeting Trowa's with a tiny shock. A thin smile swept through Trowa's eyes as an embarrassed blush rose in Quatre's cheeks.   
  
Trowa lowered his arched brow but silently voiced his concern once more.  
  
I'm all right, said Quatre with a ghost of his bright smile, but Trowa was not convinced. His eyes traced over the face of his koi, searching his eyes for any whisper of what might be on his mind. Quatre offered another weak smile, catching those jade eyes with his own. I'm all right, he repeated softly. Just a little tired.  
  
Trowa nodded and rose to his feet, offering a strong hand which was gratefully accepted and given a reassuring squeeze.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
What's do you miss the most?  
  
_About being alive_?  
  
Duo's head bobbed up and down sheepishly.   
  
_I don't know_, Relena bit her bottom lip lightly, ruffling her memory for the fondest of remembrances. _the sun I suppose_. As she spoke, she tilted her face to the radiant light smiling down upon them.  
  
Is that why it's never night here?  
  
A small smile crossed her rose hued lips as that magnificent warm light washed over her pale skin, hugging the corners of those upturned lips and nestling sweetly among her honey eyelashes. This truly was heaven. The sun and the pink sakura blossoms caught in the autumn breeze while the cool translucent waters lapped against the golden sands of the shore. This was her heaven, where the sun never set, and the moon never sang its lost lament of broken hearts and slain loves.  
  
_I love the sun_, she said with her eyes still hidden beneath her fluttering lashes. _What do you love Duo? What are you going to miss the most_?  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
The sun rose and set, illuminating and abandoning the fleshy petals of each morning glory replacing its cascading warmth with night's embrace, curling the indigo flowers back into the familiar and protective holds of there own swaying fingertips.  
  


((_Mother of God, be with me still!_))  
  


*_What do you love?* _Duo lie in the wind kissed grass, watching the new born clouds dance by. *_What do you love_?* He closed his eyes, reaching into himself, seeking desperately the answer to her question. How do you know what you love? Describing love was like trying to make the blind understand the beauty of a sunset. How do you know when you are in love? Love was like a willow, eternally changing and growing and weeping. Love was loss and sacrifice. Love was life and death. So how do you know? Was it like pain? Is it an unmistakable sensation? Duo shook his head, trying to clear his mind of the jumble of half finished thoughts bouncing around inside like drugged bunnies. *_What do you love_?*  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
You know you're beautiful when you get that devious light in your eyes.  
  
A fierce chill ran down her spine, nipping at her alabaster skin as white teeth closed bewitchingly over the artery on the side of her neck, trailing bantam kisses and bites along her shivering nape. Pausing only long enough to whisper soft alluring secrets into her glowing hair, the owner of the quiet seductive voice curled a thin hand against the ivory neck before it.  
  
I'm always beautiful, said the girl with the golden tresses, wearing a grin that did not touch her eyes.  
  
Aa, koneko- that is why I adore you. The quiet voice fought through the air, waltzing on daggers and piercing beneath the flesh and warping itself around the heart strings of the girl with the devious eyes, infecting the fluttering psyche within. What treasures have you found me?  
  
Be patient, said the girl with another dark grin.  
  
Patience koneko? said the voice, letting breath and smile be felt against the neck of the girl in its grasp. you torment me, curiosity killed the cat you know.  
  
I know.  
  
Soulless laughter escaped the throat of the quiet one.  
  
It is not time yet. Soon, very soon. She traced the soft pads of her fingers over the tender hand encircling her arched neck. 


	3. The City in the Sea

part three: the city in the sea  
  
Shattering like the fragile glass of the peace they had once created together. The pacifist ways of the once bright kingdom were slipping away, breaking hard on unforgiving earth. They were sheep- lost without their shepherd. Now the wolves of injustice preyed openly upon them, ripping at their limbs and swallowing their hearts. Their smiles faded and the luster in their eyes died away, plunging the skies into darkness, thieving love from babes.  
  
So much time had passed, crept by unnoticed by those beyond the reaching walls. Time was the enemy, time masked the tracks of a murderer who continued to out wit his every advance. Slipping through his fingers. Too much time had passed.  
  
Heero returned to outer space. Boarding a shuttle to the past, losing the trail of the Beast, failing his mission. He was no closer to finding Relena's killer than he had been at the beginning- farther if possible. This monster was clever. Too clever, it evaded him at every turn, taunting the perfect soldier with a quick flick of its tail before it rounded another corner and disappeared into the shadows. He had never failed a mission before. Self loathing was not an unfamiliar emotion, but this- failure was a frightening thing. It would not let his rest- always biting at his subconscious, nipping at his thoughts, reminding him with such a raw violence of his defect. And now, sitting motionless in the vacant shuttle, alone with his thoughts, he wanted to scream. He wanted to scream his throat dry, just scream and scream and scream.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
The week had drawn to an end and still he did not have the answer he had been chasing for the last several days. He continually avoided Relena's futile tries to dredge up the subject, but it was getting harder and harder to pacify himself. Her innocent question had birthed within him so many others._ *Why do I fight? Why does it hurt so much? Am I doing the right thing?*_ and of course, *_What do I love_?* He wished idly for a distraction, anything. Wufei was scheduled to arrive that evening, but evening was so far away for a Duo without anything to do.  
  
This sucks, he muttered to himself. Boredom was not something he handled well. He had played several practical jokes on Quatre of late, earning him several Yuy worthy death glares from Trowa, but the fun had run its course and he found himself with nothing but an irritated Magunac and tremendously dull cat to amuse him. What time is it?  
  
Five minutes later than the last time you asked, said Abdul with a painfully forced patience.   
  
So that would make it?  
  
Nearly three o'clock, he rasped through clenched teeth. Is there anything else I can do for you Master Duo?  
  
said Duo with a shake of his head, accidentally smacking the snoozing cat with the end of his braid, winning him a well deserved scratch on the nose. Abdul smirked to himself and took his leave of the swearing American.  
  
Before he could exact his revenge on the dull feline he picked up the subtle sounds of a car on the drive way. Wufei was not due to arrive for several more hours, and so Duo, curiosity aroused, left the cat to its boringness and leapt down the stairs, and the halls, through the front door just in time to see a taxi pulling away from the estate leaving a rather disheveled looking Heero in the drive.  
  
Hey Heero, he greeted the other pilot with an enthusiastic wave and wide grin. You look like shit.  
  
  
  
Duo supposed that was the only response he could expect from Heero. Even a hn' was asking a lot today from the looks of it. He watched with a fascinated air as Heero half carried, half dragged his bag to the looming doors of the Winner estate. He looked like he had not eaten, let alone slept in days. It was unlike him to be in this state. He kept his mind and body finely tuned for the good of the mission- but now, he was a mess.  
  
You want some help? Duo asked, already knowing the answer.  
  
I don't need any help, was Heero's curt reply.  
  
Suit yourself, Duo said with an exasperated huff. I'll tell Quatre your here. Without waiting for another cold hn' Duo bounded up to the library, where Quatre and Trowa could usually be found.  
  
he called from the door, earning him weary glances from four quiet eyes. Heero's here, he continued, noting both pilots still held him in contempt. he looks kinda stressed. *_That's putting it mildly_,* his mind sang sarcastically.   
  
Hearing this, Quatre rose to his feet, followed by Trowa, both crossing the room quickly and descending the lush carpeted stairs.  
  
Duo, could you go to the kitchen and ask Maurice to have some tea and soup brought to Heero's room?  
  
Yeah, no problem.  
  
With that, Duo was off, winding his way through the agonizingly long and unfamiliar halls of Quatre's grand home. He quickly relayed Quatre's request to the butler, Maurice, and set off again in search of Heero's room. His mind swirled with tattered thoughts and off-set images of Heero, staring back at him with a cold look of defeat in his nebulous eyes. Something had happened to him, and damned if Duo was not going to find out what it was.  
  
  
  
Are you all right?  
  
  
  
Quatre crossed his arms over his chest. Heero could be so impossible at times. He wanted to beat the feeling into him with the butt of his own gun. Quatre's pacifist beliefs swiftly chased the menacing violent thoughts from his mind, replacing them with a pure concern for the well being of his comrade. He knew pestering Heero about the current state of himself would only get him a omae o korosu' and a death glare, better to wait until he had a warm meal and decent rest. Newly resolved, Quatre tugged gently on the sleeve of Trowa's navy turtle neck.  
  
If you need anything Heero, just ask.  
  
Heero nodded stiffly, and Quatre left the room with Trowa less than a step behind him. Pausing only to offer Maurice a soft smile in the hall, Quatre made his way back to the library.  
  
What do you think happened?  
  
Trowa responded only with a shrug at first, followed by a quiet He'll tells us when he's ready.  
  
Quatre sighed That might be never.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
a cheery voice sang from behind him. Heero turned from where he sat in the sill of the tall window to face bright violet eyes and a cheeky smile. Feeling better?  
  
Heero nodded, not quite sure why he was allowing himself to indulge Duo in this line of questioning, or why he responded positively. He was not feeling better. How could he? He could hardly bring himself to acknowledge that he was feeling, let alone feeling better, or alive. Feelings only got you into trouble, made you venerable. soldiers had no room for feelings, and that was what he was- a soldier. That is all he had ever been. The kill- born and bred for it.  
  
You want something to eat?  
  
Heero's mind twinged with a memory of french toast, and Duo. He nodded again, meaning it this time. Sliding off the sill, he ran a hand through his disobedient hair and followed Duo into the labyrinth that was the Winner mansion.  
  
  
  
Morning passed smoothly enough, Wufei had arrived late the previous night and gone straight to bed, rising at dawn to wander the grounds and find his way back in time for breakfast. The meal passed mostly in silence, excluding Duo's senseless chatter and several threats from the Chinese pilot. He would never admit how much he enjoyed their little spats. Duo was the only one who seemed unaffected by the wars, though deep down, he knew it was an act. The smiles, the jokes, it was how he copped. It was his way of reminding them all of just how human they used to be.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
A bloodless orange glow flickered across alabaster cheeks, dancing in phoenix tinted eyes. Translucent burning eyes the color of the trembling flame of the majestic candle's light. The lonely figure lie across a thick, lush rug of crimsons and blacks, memorizing the flight of the blazing wicks- drinking in hungrily the color and shape of each delicate flame. Thin color starved fingertips glided through the fire, releasing the scent of burning flesh into the paralyzed air.  
  
Plum-colored silk clung like a second skin to the form in the fire light, cascading down the slender back and pale legs of the phoenix-eyed figure. Sinuous folds of the enchanting silk stretched across the rug beneath, catching shadows in its frigid embrace, warping the darkness into the veins of the sparkle licked body before its luminous tendrils.  
  
It's so innocent, so desired. So deadly.  
  
Just like you.  
  
Have you good news for me koneko?  
  
  
  
The quiet one rolled over, back pressing softly into the warm tickle of the rugs woven fibers. Ruby eyes met cloud-blue with feral intensity, searching every curve of the other's thin shell. Tell me.  
  
Deadly fingers ran along sun-colored strands of long velvet tresses, as quiet laughter poured from the throat. The sound twirled in the motionless air before fading to a whisper in the back of her mouth.  
  
It's time.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Baka! Get down here!  
  
*_Great_,* he thought to himself, *_and I was just about to fall asleep_!*  
  
You're going to want to see this! came Wufei's irritated response from the bottom of the stair case, followed quickly by a frustrated sound from Duo as he stomped down the hall.  
  
This had better be important Wu, or I swear- but he was unable to finish his threat. He took in the scene before him in a sleepy gulp. The other pilots were gathered around the television set which cast out the glow of an all too familiar setting.  
  
_The Sanc Kingdom rejoices tonight as the heir to the Peacecraft monarchy ascends to the throne._  
  
Duo's jaw-dropping desperate question was answered by his companions with mere silence as they impatiently listened to the perky voice of the young reporter.  
  
_Tonight, on the eve of Lord Peacecrafts death, a girl hidden from the eyes of the people has emerged from the decay of this lost kingdom._   
  
A daughter? Quatre whispered more to himself than the others. Relena had a sister? he then quieted himself and stared into the eerie glow of the television.  
  
_The Prodigal daughter, Upir Peacecraft rose from the ashes of her native lands to guide her frightened people through the darkness left in the wake of their slain princess. Vowing her loyalty, and promising her heart, this young Peacecraft has tonight taken Sanc into her arms._  
  
The body's not even cold. Dishonorable. Wufei shook his head with his eyes downcast, still listening to the reporters unjust prattle.  
  
_Miss. Peacecraft has declined comment as of now, but scheduled a press conference for the day after next. Here to speak with us now is Miss. Peacecraft's right hand man, or rather woman, Dorothy Catalonia, granddaughter of Duke Dermail of the Romefellar Foundation. Tell us Miss. Catalonia, does this fortunate turn of events promise to bring peace to the people? Will Romefellar and the Sanc kingdom form an alliance the will bring this war to its close? _  
  
Duo's heart leapt into his throat as the camera focused on the smirking face of the daughter of Romefellar. She stood elegantly, dressed in a sleek black dress which clung to her ample breasts and kitten hips. Her insincere smile lingered as she turned to offer a response to the oblivious brunet beside her.  
  
Change is at hand, she said in a calm icy tone. that much is certain.  
  
_Miss. Catalonia, will Miss. Peacecraft be the sovereign who leads the Earth and space to peace? Can this young princess unite the Earth sphere and the colonies?_  
  
Miss. Peacecraft, said Dorothy with a glimmer of something evil in her cloud-blue eyes. Will answer all of your questions. After that was said, Dorothy turned from the prying eye of the camera. With a toss of golden hair and swish of ebony clad hips she was gone, leaving the flustered reporter to blush and wrap up her story in an embarrassed flutter of incoherent words no one was really paying any attention to.  
  
Oh my, Quatre breathed in a voice no higher than a whisper.  
  
Trowa remained motionless, as did Heero. Wufei shook his head, mumbling something about justice, and Duo bit hard on his bottom lip.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Relena's usually calm exterior was visibly shed. Her big indigo eyes were larger if possible and mirrored the confusion and distress of the violets they stared into.  
  
Her name's eww-peer or something like that.  
  
_Did you see what she looked like_? asked Relena with a dumbstruck pang of curiosity.  
  
Duo shook his head. But this is the freakiest part, Dorothy Catalonia spoke on her behalf.  
  
Relena's jaw dropped.  
  
They called her _young_ Peacecraft, so she must be around your age, Duo said in a low voice. She's holding a meeting with the press in two days.  
  
_I have a sister_? Relena asked no one in particular. _What did Dorothy say_?  
  
She said change was at hand.  
  
_This can't be good_.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Heero, what are you planning to do? Quatre's voice crept sheepishly across the gap between himself and said pilot.  
  
I'm going back to the Sanc kingdom. Something's not right here.  
  
You're leaving?  
  
  
  
Quatre let out a heavy sigh. He knew there was no stopping Heero once he had given himself a mission. But going back would not solve anything. It would only make it hurt more. There was nothing they could do, they were powerless.  
  
Quatre, Heero, it's starting! Trowa's muffled voice called from down stairs, drawing both from the quiet room and to the couch where the others sat, eyes glued to the screen.  
  
The cameras focused on the majestic throne room of the Sanc palace. Elaborate decorations hung on the walls and draped across the tall windows, accenting and lighting the vast room with a soft crimson tinted light. The rows of chairs lining the stretching walls were packed with murmuring politicians and frightened looking world leaders. Onlookers pushed and crowded behind the dark carved doors, trying to catch the merest of glimpses.  
  
Hastily, the whispers were silenced. The camera's angle shifted to rest on the unmistakable silhouette of Dorothy Catalonia as she approached the podium before the congregation. This time, she was dressed in vibrant reds of timeless elegant cuts. Her long gown flowed loosely beneath her waist, brushing the marbled floor with every calculated step. The sloping neck and thin fitting sleeves drew on the curve of her collar bone and thin yet strong arms. She was so beautiful and strangely alluring despite the coldness of her eyes and menacing grin of her painted lips.  
  
She held her quiet as all those in the room held a collective breath, savoring the mousy squeaks of fear and unease she invoked.  
  
May I present to you, she said in a throaty purr. the sovereign of the Sanc kingdom, Upir Peacecraft.  
  
Polite applause filled the walls, easing the tension in the room. Then they saw her, only her profile at first, a tall lean girl with long slim legs and perfect posture. As she came closer, the crimson light spilled across her form. She was clad in flowing silks the color of beautiful plum blossoms, a tender pale purple, almost ivory in the rich sunlight. Her face, slightly hidden by ringlets of a ravishing autumn color, was ashen and smooth as porcelain. Her breathtaking fae curls hung in gentle folds just below her elbows, accenting the fairness of her skin. She held her feather soft fingers clasped in front as she ascended the crimson dressed steps before the throne. She turned, revealing liquesent ruby eyes shadowed by a stray strand of identically colored hair which she swept away with the lightest of touches.  
  
Dorothy's smile softened as she offered the princess a graceful curtsy. The corners of the sovereigns plum painted lips twitched slightly, casting a secret smile to the downcast eyes of the golden haired girl.  
  
Thank you, thank you all. Her voice was low, quiet, yet carried to the ears of all who listened.  
  
The media was impatient. Miss. Peacecraft, Miss. Peacecraft! they cried, flashing harsh camera light in those fiery eyes. Are you truly the daughter of the fallen Peacecrafts? one voice questioned over the others.  
  
Upir smiled, seemingly amused. Yes, I am.  
  
Can you prove it? the cocky reporter asked.  
  
Upir nodded. I can, she gestured to her left with a steady hand. An elderly man in a sterile white coat took several even steps forward. Doctor Rodin, the princess said with a trained calm.  
  
Rodin bowed his head in respect, then addressed the crowd. Through DNA testing, I have discovered this woman to be directly related to the Peacecrafts. Rodin did not answer further questions, he retreated back into the shadows beyond the reach of the crimson light.  
  
Miss Peacecraft, if you are the daughter of the throne, why have you not come to claim your blood right before now?  
  
At this, Upir lowered her eyes. Was Relena not doing well as your ruler?  
  
Of course she was, said a distant voice.  
  
Then you have answered your own question sir. I saw no reason to intervene.  
  
Why didn't you ever attempt to meet her? She died never knowing about you.  
  
Upir laughed quietly. Sir, until recently, I did not even know about me.  
  
  
  
If I had all the answers sir, there would not be a war raging beyond the borders of this kingdom. Had I all this truth, my sister would still be alive, and you would not need me now.  
  
Th- thanks Miss. Peacecraft, stuttered the reporter, at a rare loss for words.  
  
Upir bowed, lidding her torrid eyes. If you will please excuse me, she said, not lifting her glance.   
  
The camera came again to the face of the perky brunet reporter from the earlier broadcast. She tried her best to summarize the conference, but again, no one seemed to pay her any mind. All were transfixed by the enchanting princess who took her leave, and vanished into the white noise around her.  
  


((_When the Hours flew brightly by_,))  
  


Quatre turned off the television. He rubbed tiny circles on his temples with his fingertips, trying to clear his ever so confused mind.   
  
I can't believe this, Duo said so softly no one heard.  
  
She's so young, Quatre observed for lack of better words.  
  
So was Relena, said Trowa. perhaps younger.  
  
Heero and Wufei did nothing more than stare at the blank television screen. *_Can this be real_?* they both seemed to be asking within themselves. Perhaps it was the lack of Relena's smiling face greeting them from the throne, perhaps they had not yet accepted that she would never sit there again, but this felt so wrong. How could this girl hope to fill the shoes of a princess as pure and loving as Relena? How could she ever come close? They never even had the chance to say goodbye.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
That went well, said the quiet one with a deliciously stray laugh.  
  
All the players are in place, the stage is set, Dorothy purred into the ear of her companion. Now we wait. We watch, and wonder- what will Upir do, now that the act is her own?  
  
This is her show koneko, the quiet one replied. let us enjoy the. . . entertainment.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
I'm coming with you. There was strength, resolve, determination, and yes, stubbornness in his words as he crossed his arms over his chest and stood his ground.  
  
No, you're not.  
  
Yes, I am.  
  
Duo snatched up his bag and began stuffing his scattered belongings into its deep pockets.  
  
You are not coming, Heero said sternly, biting off each word more fiercely than the last. He stared straight into those violet eyes, willing Duo to back down. No such luck.  
  
I am coming, said Duo as forcefully as Heero. like it or not, *_I*_ am your partner, and this is_ *our*_ mission. He continued to gather his things, moving with a trained efficiency.  
  
Heero snorted under his breath.  
  
I heard that!  
  
  
  
The flight back to the Earth was dull and uneventful. Heero buried himself in some bit of pirated information or another, while Duo was left to stare into the endless space beyond his small circular window. Space was excruciatingly boring.  
  
He had stopped trying to read over Heero's shoulder, and his nose still ached from the punch that had earned him. He had memorized the shuttle's in case of emergency booklet, and counted the rows of uncomfortable seats more times than he cared to acknowledge, later contenting himself with counting the minutes until he would be free of this tiny tin can of a shuttle.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
You seem distracted. Do you want me to go? Trowa's low voice snapped Quatre from his thoughts and back into the realm of the living.  
  
No, of course not.  
  
What's wrong? Trowa had seen this look on his koi's face too many times to disregard it. Something was bothering him, he could not hide it.  
  
Have you noticed they never actually said she was Lord Peacecrafts daughter? noticing the confused look in Trowa's visible eye, Quatre continued. They call her the daughter of the throne, and that doctor only said she was related to the Peacecrafts. Trowa had to smile at this. Quatre's insights never ceased to amaze him. She seems so- fake. Like a doll. And why has there never been mention of her before? Don't you find that odd?  
  
Trowa said slowly.  
  
Why would the Peacecrafts have not recognized her before? It's almost like they didn't want anyone to know about her. But now that they're all dead, she's come into the light. I don't trust it.  
  
Trowa nodded. Quatre had never been wrong before, not about anything this important. Trowa trusted him blindly. And yet, blind faith is the crutch of fools.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Duo lie on the golden sands of the dreamscape, watching the clouds puff and twirl in the warm summer sky.  
  
She doesn't look anything like you, he said with disdain. she's taller, and she's got red hair and eyes. It's kinda creepy if ya ask me.  
  
_Her eyes are red_? Relena asked curiously.  
  
Yeah, their just like her hair. The exact same color.  
  
_How odd_.  
  
Odd is putting it nicely. This whole thing freaks me out. Duo rolled over onto his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows. His eyes met with Relena's as he continued. Your step-father never mentioned anything about you having a sister?  
  
Relena shook her head. _As far as I knew, Milliardo was my only living relative. He's fighting a war, I guess he couldn't come back to baby-sit the kingdom_.  
  
Duo thought on this for some time before speaking again. Why wouldn't they have told you about her? Do you think Zechs knew? Relena shrugged, and Duo resumed voicing his thoughts. Think there was something wrong with her? Why else would they have kept her a secret?  
  
_You forget that they kept me a secret too. Had my step-father not been assassinated, I may have remained one as well_.  
  
This time Duo shrugged, he supposed Relena's theory made more sense than his own. All this war had made him paranoid. He failed to see the purity in people now. There seemed to be lots of conspiracies looming behind the eyes of the seemingly innocent these days. Perhaps war had tainted him.  
  
How do you think she found out?  
  
_Maybe when I died, her guardians told her. From what you've told me, Sanc was beginning to collapse again. Maybe they thought she could save it_.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Wake up.  
  
Heavily lidded eyes opened cautiously, meeting with impatient prussians.  
  
We have a mission.  
  
I know, I know, Duo said through a loud yawn, rubbing absently at his sleep dusted eyes. He quickly pulled on fresh cloths, and ate a hasty breakfast- downstairs in time to avoid the Yuy death glare, and start the day on the rightist of feet- though being confined to the small guard's room with a grumpy Heero did not always put the bounce in his step.  
  
They had returned to Sanc under this guise, transferred to the palace from some remote base within the kingdom. Having known Relena made covering their tracks easy. Hacking had not been a problem, nor had acquiring documents and uniforms proved difficult. Now came the hard part- hiding within the ranks of the imperial guard until the truth was attained, whatever it may be.  
  
Duo made fast friends among the other guards, while Heero used his soldier's techniques to get himself closer to Upir. Time passed slowly in this kingdom, and information seemed further from their fingertips than they had expected. Heero lapsed again into battle mode, and Duo was left without anyone to talk to, except of course, Relena's ghost. She was as much a part of this mission as Duo himself. Her familiarity with the inner workings of Sanc proved extremely useful time and again.  
  
Since their arrival, Upir had not made a move to betray anything but a poised, intelligent and compassionate ruler. Her words were always carefully chosen and beautiful. Her manors were impeccable, and she remained as perfectly groomed as she had been when she had first addressed the population. Being always accompanied by Dorothy, getting near her was close to impossible, but trust Heero to find a way around that which is deemed undoable. It did not take long to find himself in her good graces.  
  
She attended peace talks, and took fallen countries into her embrace. She built luxurious stays for widows and orphans of the war, reaching and caring for the people as Relena before her. She never raised her voice, hardly ever above a whisper. Many of the guards speculated, as guards will, about this. Some supposed she was ill, and that seemed to explain her low words and patient steps. Some said she was shy, just nervous about running the government of Sanc, and of course there were the few who blamed it on aliens or Oz, or some rare demon. But there was nothing to indicate the latter. Upir made no move to ally herself with Oz or rather, Romafeller. Made no move to involve herself or her people in the war- she brought no harm or danger to this serene, sun-embraced realm.  
  
All I want for this hallow place, she had said in a radiant moment. Is peace, and happiness. I want to fulfill my sisters dream.  
  


((_And not a cloud obscured the sky,_))  
  


M'lady, the delegation from Romefellar has arrived.  
  
Upir thanked him in a hushed tone from where she stood before the panes of the mist dappled window.   
  
Yes my lady?  
  
Come and see this. She pressed the petal soft pads of her fingers against the glass of the frigid window, watching O'Riane's reflection approach.  
  
What am I looking at? he asked after trying to follow her gaze for several minutes but coming up empty handed. As he cocked his head from one side to the other his long chestnut braid swung with the motions.  
  
Upir found herself mildly fascinated by the devil-may-care attitude of Inan O'Riane. He was always wearing that ridiculous grin, and that braid which she imagined must be longer than her own ruby tresses when undone, and though he did not look Irish as his name suggested, there was a certain leprechaun quality about him.  
  
It's beautiful, ne? she said finally, tracing invisible designs on the frosty window with her outstretched fingers.   
  
Yeah, it's nice.  
  
Just nice, O'Riane?  
  
*_Slick Duo_,* his mind chided._ *If you blow it now,_ _Heero'll really kill you_!* More than nice I guess, he said, trying to cover his blunder. This place has come a long way since you showed up. Complements, he had discovered, were almost always a direct line to the heart- or at least the ego.  
  
Upir smiled thinly. This place O'Riane, has much further to go.  
  
Duo was not feeling so confidant now. He was Shinigami, the God of Death, he destroyed, he stole souls- this undercover nonsense was not really his strong point. The last time he tried to pull off one of these harebrained schemes, he had been caught swiftly by a young Oz recruit named Hilde Schbiker, and though they had become allies in the end- he was not quite willing to take that chance with a woman shadowed by none other than Romafeller's daughter.  
  
Um, ok, he said awkwardly. The representative guys are waiting for ya in the conference room. With that, he bowed deeply, offered a cheeky grin, and took his leave of the silent princess.  
  
K, that was. . . interesting, he mumbled to himself as he made his way back to his station. Four hours till you can go back to sleep, he told the more impatient side of his mind as he stood stiffly in the still corridor. After holding this station for the last three days, he knew when and which servants crossed the floors of cleaned the tapestries, exactly how long it took them, and substantial amounts about their personal lives. It was a gift, Duo had a face people trusted, they wanted to confide in him before they even knew his name. The younger servants looked up to him, ecstatic to have someone to talk to as they went about their daily regiments, Duo also, was terribly grateful for company and fresh faces, it made the gathering of important' information quite pleasurable.  
  
Ello Inan, articulated a small accented voice behind him.  
  
How's it goin' Grey? Duo asked the small boy in his usual cheery tone. Big day huh? Lots of big shots round the castle.  
  
Grey nodded, his dusty blond hair falling in his pale eyes. The delegation is very demanding.  
  
What'd you mean? Duo asked, arching a curious brow.  
  
Well, they, Grey paused, tracing little circles on the marbled floor with his foot. He was by far the youngest servant in the palace, hardly eleven years of age. He had been born into bondage, his parents served the Peacecrafts long before their fall, leaving him to struggle and clean up the desolation caused by the Alliance. He had worked among servants for longer than he could remember, and so, knew the best of the gossip, and the age old techniques of the underdog. they have all sorts of odd requests.  
  
Like what? Duo was now more than curious.  
  
They all wanted rooms in the west wing, and asked to have meals alone, they don't want to attend the banquet in their own bloody honor. Grey was visibly irritated now. Having no doubt spent days preparing for the arrival of the representatives, he found it quite maddening now that they wanted nothing more than a chat and solitary dinner.  
  
How many of them are there?  
  
Only three, said Grey, but you think they would have sent someone with manners.  
  
Duo laughed, brightening Grey's mood slightly. His laugh was infectious, you could not help but smile when he let such a pure sound escape him.  
  
I'm sure it'll all work out buddy, Duo said, clasping a reassuring hand on the boy's shoulder, earning himself another smile. just stay out of trouble k?  
  
Grey nodded happily and scampered off, bent on making the best of his time now that he did not have to pamper the antisocial Romafeller delegation.  
  
Three hours and fifty minutes till you can go back to sleep.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  
  


_Upir Peacecraft: No information available_.  
  
All his inquires, all his searches turned up nothing. Not a whisper, not a shadow of the ruby-eyed princess before she ascended to the throne. Not a scrap of knowledge of past lingered in the air. Before her miraculous resurrection, Upir Peacecraft had not existed. He tried searching for records of a red haired girl her age in any form of foster care of near by orphanages. Nothing. She simply did not exist. No fingerprints, no records with any doctor excluding the illusive Doctor Rodin, who had since, disappeared. The only link, the only lead, was Dorothy Catalonia.  
  
  
  
Now he knew he would not get any work done- not with Duo back in the all too small room they shared. He closed his laptop and opted to read from the tattered book on his night stand. The pages were yellowing, and the cover was missing, making the aged binding seem destitute beyond the poorest of the L2 colonies. The edges were torn and the spine worn from handling. Heero lied back on his bed and allowed the book to fall open to the page of its choosing.  
  
What are you reading? Duo asked, unable to contain his curiosity at the moth-eaten book. He had rarely see Heero read from anything other than his laptop or a college issue history book, let alone a binding so well loved it seemed it might disintegrate at a harsh touch. Heero did little more than look up from the musty page before him as Duo inquired quizzically of the words he read.  
  
Oh, come on, Duo pleaded, plopping down on the bed beside his silent companion. He wore a small pout and aura of dignified curiosity.  
  
Heero sighed inwardly. It's Poe, he said quietly.  
  
Duo asked with a surprised grin and that up-to-no-good look in his glittering eyes.  
  
Baka, it's not all poetry, Heero said, letting his voice betray some of his annoyance. He wasn't just a poet.  
  
Duo thought he should tread lightly or Heero might use up his ten sentence allowance for the day. But then again, Duo had never really been one to heed a warning.  
  
So he wrote other stuff? Like what? he asked, lying on his stomach beside Heero and resting his chin in his hands.  
  
Stories, news articles, things like that.  
  
Duo commented softly. What are you reading now?  
  
Heero looked from Duo and back to the page resting in his lap. He had nearly forgotten he had been reading at all as Duo had crawled onto the bed and sprawled beside him. The Murders in the Rue Morgue.  
  
Will you read it to me? Duo asked shyly, fidgeting a little. He cast his eyes down, like a child expecting a scolding, or awaiting rejection.  
  
Heero smiled invisibly and began to read. . . .such a man would be to me a treasure beyond price. . .  
  
Duo closed his eyes, breathing in the sound of Heero's deep soothing voice and the scent so uniquely his.  
  
. . . Had the routine of our life at this place been known to the world, we should have been regarded as madmen- although, perhaps, as madmen of a harmless nature. Our seclusion was perfect. We admitted no visitors. Indeed the locality of our retirement had been carefully kept a secret from my own former associates; and it had been many years since Dupin had ceased to know or be known in Paris. We existed within within ourselves alone.  
  
It was a freak of fancy in my friend (for what else shall I call it?) to be enamored of the Night for her own sake; and into this _bizarrerie_, as into all his others, I quietly fell; giving myself up to his wild whims with a perfect _abandon_.  
  
Duo lowered his head onto the pillow, so close to that warm soft voice, mesmerized by each sound that escaped his throat. Savoring every word- treasuring this tale as it slid so delicately from Heero's tender lips.  
  
. . . Then we sailed forth into the streets, arm and arm, continuing the topics of the day, or roaming far and wide until a late hour, seeking, amid the wild lights and shadows of the populous city. That infinity of mental excitement which quiet observation can afford.  
  
At such times I could not help remarking and admiring (although from his rich ideality I had been prepared to except it) a peculiar analytic ability in Dupin. He seemed, too, to take an eager delight in its exercise- if not exactly in its display- and did not hesitate to confess the pleasure thus derived.  
  
Without thinking about the consequences of his actions, Duo curled himself against the muscular curves of Heero's body, tucking his face into the arch of his neck, feeling the tones of his voice dance into his own skin as he spoke. Heero leaned into Duo, silently encouraging the embrace as he continued to read;  
  
. . . His manner at these moments was frigid and abstract; his eyes were vacant in expression,  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Quatre paced around the library. Back and forth- back and forth. He was losing his patience. Coffee was the only thing keeping him upright by this point and he could feel the shaking of his hands steadily increasing. He lost track of the hours, only the lack of sunlight on the broad windows informed him of the lateness of night.  
  
I think I've found something.  
  
Quatre's senses clicked into place as the hopeful words crossed Trowa's lips.  
  
What is it? Quatre asked, lowering himself into the chair beside the other. He was amazed to see the late hours and lack of nourishment had no visible toll on the Heavyarms pilot. Trowa was so strong, simply being by his side gave Quatre unspeakable volumes of comfort and eased his tense nerves.  
  
Apparently, Relena's mother was hospitalized in critical condition a little less than two years before Relena was born. There's no cause listed, and her recovery was not documented.  
  
Quatre listened attentively to Trowa's soothing voice, leaning against him and resting his head on the taller boy's shoulder, feeling the vibration of his low words against his skin. He felt Trowa shift slightly, almost uneasily.  
  
  
  
he responded flatly. about seven months after being released, a woman fitting her description gave birth to a premature baby girl. Two pounds, nine ounces, red hair, and eyes, he trailed off, letting his words hang in the air. chance of survival is listed as improbable and there's no record of the child after that night.  
  
This can't be a coincidence, we have to tell Heero and Duo.  
  
Trowa nodded and began attaching his findings to an encrypted message later sent to Heero. What do you make of all this? he asked quietly, stroking the hair of the exhausted boy beside him.  
  


_((My soul, lest it should truant be,))____  
_  


Quatre simply shook his head, warping his arms around Trowa's waist. He buried his face in the crook of his neck and released his mind to the embrace of sleep.  
  
Trowa smiled thinly and gathered Quatre into his arms.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Do you think it wicked of me? Have I become- desensitized? Perhaps war has driven us all to this breaking point. We are all just broken soldiers inside, aren't we? Do you think I've gone mad?  
  
We all have a purpose in this dying world. Along the way I think I have lost sight of mine. There was a time when I embraced my destiny, loved it even. But I did not know what love was. I followed the path blindly, knowing in the end I would find the answers I seek. And now, with fate so close, I'm unsure of how to continue.  
  
Perhaps war has tainted me- made me weak. The blood is so thick, and I have bathed in it for so long. I know death. I have felt the breath of eternity on the back of my neck. I have taken life, and given hope. Can you wash away my blood with your own? Will you bleed for me, koneko? Will you believe in me?  
  
Soft lips closed over those of the quiet one. The kiss was tender and hungry, gentle and desperate all at once. The tips of pale fingers danced over the neck so close to those lips, tracing delicate soothing circles along the exposed flesh.  
  
I will give you my everything, Dorothy whispered against the indulgent skin of hushed lips. You can have it all.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Wake up! Hurry little one.  
  
Wh- what's going on? Duo shielded his sleepy eyes against the bright flame of Father Maxwell's candle. He could feel the warmth radiating from the tiny blaze, nipping at his moon-kissed skin.  
  
There is no time to explain, run little one, run! Father Maxwell scooped Duo into his arms and carried him hastily towards the darkened hallway, the bantam fire's light their only guide.  
  
What about you? Duo cried, struggling to untangle himself from the priest's strong embrace.  
  
Do not worry about me, little one. You have to go, now!  
  
Duo clutched the cross around his neck, trying desperately to draw strength from its frigid silver arches. I don't want to leave you! his muffled cry disappeared within the folds of Father Maxwell's robes as he tried to quiet his own pained sobs.  
  
A deafening explosion sounded outside the church, shaking the very foundation of the hallow sanctuary and illuminating the night sky with a bloodied flash. Father Maxwell broke into a run, still holding the small child tightly in his arms. Taking a sharp corner and nearly losing his balance, Father Maxwell came upon a small window, scarcely large enough for a teenage girl. He stopped at the window and released the trembling child, kneeling beside him he whispered in a frightened hush;  
  
Run little one, run and don't look back. He reached into his robes, pulling a small tattered binding from a deep hidden pocket. He tore a page from the book, folded it swiftly and tucked it into the collar of the boys pajamas. Hurry, please.  
  
The little boy wrapped his arms around the neck of the priest, hugging him tightly as his frail arms would allow. Good bye papa,   
  
Father Maxwell tried his best to smile, but was not met with much success. He again lifted the child into his arms, hoisting him onto the sill of the tiny window. Obediently, Duo crawled through the window and hit the ground running, turning only as another brilliant light shone through the window only to be replaced by thick rivulets of living blood. A small scream welled within the child but did not escape. Real men don't cry out loud.   
  
He did not look back again. He ran, and ran until his legs gave out, dropping him into the damp grass of an unfamiliar park. He swallowed the hurt, the fear, the anger, replacing them with a silent prayer.  
  
At morn- at noon- at twilight dim- Maria, thou hast heard my Hymn. . .   



	4. Evening Star

part four: evening star  
  
He woke- sitting bolt upright in the bed, arms closing instinctively around the warm body they brushed against. He was shaking, and a cold sweat dusted his knotted brow. Slowly, hesitantly, his embrace was returned. Strong arms closed around his waist and rubbed soothingly across the back of his neck, running cautiously through his tangled hair. a low voice commanded. It was only a dream.  
  
I- I couldn't save them.  
  
Shh, it's all right. You're safe here- with me.  
  
It's all my fault.  
  
No, don't say that.  
  
It's true.  
  
He pulled away from the safety of those encircling arms, his violet gaze meeting with the purest, most beautiful blue eyes the world had ever known. Bowing his head slightly, he let his hands fall into his lap, absently playing with the folds of the snarled sheets. They sat like that for painful long moments, both unwilling to meet the other's eyes again. It was Heero who shattered the silence.  
  
What were you dreaming about?  
  
  
  
You're lying.  
  
I know.  
  
Again the silence consumed them. Heero lowered his eyes to stare at his own hands- hands which had only precious moments ago held everything they had ever wanted. He had no idea it could feel that good, so right. His pupils traced over the lines of his upturned palms, memorizing every crease and scar. Involuntarily, his hands moved to fold Duo's within their torrid hold. He tried to pull away at first, but only at first- Heero's comforting hands soothed his screaming psyche.  
  
Why do you blame yourself? Heero asked, softening his touch and drawing Duo's hands into his chest, hugging them protectively.  
  
Because it was my fault.  
  
What happened? Heero's question was met with nothing but silence. *_Is this how Duo feels when I ignore him_?* something in the back of his mind questioned. It was such a helpless feeling- wanting to soothe but not knowing how to. Wanting someone to let you in, only to be met by dirty steel walls. he choked out, his own voice sounding foreign and so very far away. please- at least let me try to help you. *_You've done so much for me_,* his mind begged to explain. *_It's my turn now, please let me in_.*   
  
Everything I touch dies, he whispered into the space between them. He fought again to escape Heero's grasp but he lacked the strength needed to win his freedom.  
  
That's not true, Heero said placidly yet without sounding detached. Duo lifted his eyes, staring into Heero, through him- Heero trailed his fingers through Duo's thick bangs, sweeping stray hairs away from his fierce eyes.  
  
With a flash of feral energy, Duo tore away from Heero's arms. He backed blindly into the far wall, sending an echo into the air where words feared to tread. He covered his eyes with his hands, pressing against his closed lids with his palms. In cat-like fluid movements, Heero rose from where he sat- approaching Duo cautiously, like one might advance on a cornered fawn. He did not know what he was doing, and honestly, he did not care. There was a yearning, a hunger inside of him- something he had never felt before. Could it be love? No one had ever loved him before, no one had ever treated him like a human being. No one but Duo. And now he could admit to himself what he had been feeling all along. He loved Duo.  
  
Reaching out to him, needing him, Heero curled the shuddering boy into his secure embrace- wanting nothing more than to quiet his fears and keep him safe forever. The feel of Duo's breath against his exposed throat was unlike anything he had known before. He felt alive, and this feeling was heaven. He never wanted it to end, never wanted to let go. Wishing time would stop for them, willing the sun to die, he stood timeless, beautiful and alive with this heaven in his arms.  
  
I don't want to hurt you.  
  
Shh. . . He tightened his hold on Duo, hugging him against his chest.   
  
A shrill beeping bore into the quiet of the room causing Duo to jump slightly, freeing himself from Heero's strong embrace. He turned to see a light steadily flashing on the screen of his laptop, harmonious with the agitated alarm. He wanted to smash the offending computer into thousands of pieces for causing such an intrusion but instead clicked angrily at the blinking icon- opening a coded message.  
  
After several moments spent in silence, save the tapping of the laptop's keys, the message was decrypted and displayed across the green glow of the screen.  
  
It's from Trowa, he stated flatly as he scanned over the page of data attached to the short note from the other pilot. Duo noticed Heero's eyes widen thoughtfully as he scrolled through the remainder of the information.  
  
What is it? he asked quietly.  
  
Heero made no move to answer him directly, instead he threw Duo a coat and pulled his own over his tense shoulders. Come on, he said in a low hushed tone. Duo nodded obediently and followed him down dark twisting corridors and into the silent night.  
  


_((Thy grace did guide to thine and thee;))____  
_  


He did not bother asking where they were going. Trowa had obviously sent something of great importance, but none of that really mattered at this moment in time. Heero had hugged him, soothed him and held to him with such desperation. All he could think of was that soft touch and tender voice. Heero truly cared- and that was all that mattered now. He had fallen into the arms of sleep curled against his warmth while his deep calm voice narrated a timeless tale. Sleep beside a blazing live body was something he had before, only been able to dream of. He felt so safe there, free to slumber in Heero's glow- until the nightmares came.  
  
Memories so agonizing, memories seen every time he closed his eyes, torn images of death and destruction- horrors he would not for the world wish on another living being plagued his sleep, torturing his battered soul. Every drop of his heart died to press his lips against Heero's soft skin, but he knew, with a kiss- he would call death to the only thing he had ever loved. _Love_. Duo had known all along- known what he loved, and sadly, knew he could never have him. Everything dear to him was taken away. His family, Solo, Father Maxwell, Sister Helen, Relena- he knew what loving Heero would do, and could not bring himself to make such a sacrifice for only moments of pure heaven.  
  
This is it.  
  
  
  
Heero pressed a tender finger to Duo's slightly parted lips, trying to ignore the electricity that bounded from those lips and into his skin he continued in a whisper;  
  
This building used to be a clinic for complicated pregnancies. A woman, possibly Relena's mother, gave birth here to a child with red hair and eyes. Heero's scanned the area as Duo patiently waited for him to continue. No one knows what happened to the baby, but the doctors didn't think it would survive.  
  
  
  
It was born too early. They didn't expect her to live through the night.  
  
But she did. It was more of a statement than a question. Heero nodded in response. Why are we here? You said no one knew what happened.  
  
No one bought this place after it closed down. I'm willing to bet all the files on Upir are still locked away somewhere in there. As he spoke, Heero picked the lock of the side door of the musty clinic. Within seconds, they were pussy-footing their way down the dirty linoleum floors of the ancient building. A silence too still attacked the air, ripping and clawing at the shadows and cobwebs in the corners of the long crumbling halls. They crept with a patience and practiced stealth, so close their hands brushed slightly with every movement.  
  
It all happened so fast- first they saw it, the silhouette of a short frail figure hunched over a large gloomy trunk. With reflexes cat-like, the form spun and drew a weapon, hastily squeezing off three rounds and arching a tall back flip over the trunk and through the window behind it.  
  
_Bang. Bang. Bang_. It was the last thing he heard before the darkness consumed him and he felt his shoulder hit the hardened floor with an intensity all its own. He lie there, deaf to the blood, blind to the cries escaping lips which had long ago forgotten how to feel.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
He woke on the dreamscape, though waking was not quite the right word for it. A light breeze ruffled the petals of the sakura tree above him, shedding tiny pink petals onto his warm skin and adorning his long chestnut braid with bantam dew drops and pearly leaves. For a moment, he simply lie on his back, staring into the swaying branches of the majestic tree, watching the sun bleed and curl between the sky exposed crevices the wind created with its gentle lullaby. He presently became aware of the indigo eyes watching him from the tall grass surrounding the shade cast by the tree.  
  
It's beautiful, he said, hardly recognizing his own voice as it danced between his lips. I wish-  
  
her fae voice asked from where she lie among the tall wind tousled grass. _What is your wish Duo_?  
  
I wish it was tangible- beauty that is. I wish I could gather it into a little box and keep it close to my heart. As he spoke, his hands moved to his heart, closing around the delicate cross that lie so close above the beating in his chest. I wish I could love without death.  
  
_Is that what you truly believe? You think your love is a poison_?  
  
It got you didn't it?  
  
Relena was silent. She pulled slowly to her feet and moved to lie beside Duo beneath the shade of the sky reaching mothering tree. She curled herself beside him, resting her head on his chest, feeling the rise and fall of every breath. _You didn't kill me_, she whispered. _please don't blame yourself_.  
  
But I do, he said, running a hand through her honey-blond locks. If I hadn't cared about you- his voice trailed off, hanging like a dying butterfly in the warm scented air.  
  
_But you did, and I care for you, and that is not what killed me. Even if it was, I have no regrets_.  
  
I do. He stirred slightly beneath her. I couldn't save you. I wasn't there when you needed me.  
  
_You're here now_, she said quietly. _but I am not the one that needs you_. Saying this, she sat up and leaned over him slightly, meeting his gaze. _You have to go back, before it's too late, you can't stay here now._  
  
I don't want to go back! he cried defiantly. there's nothing for me there. I want to stay here, with you. but Relena shook her head.  
  
_Oh, isn't there? You may care, but you don't love me. Remember when I asked you, do you know why I asked?_ when he remained silent, she continued slowly with a translucent breath of sorrow in her words. _I wanted to be sure. I wanted to know you would take care of each other_.  
  
I can't go back. I wont hurt him- I wont. His voice was quiet despite the panic and fear swimming within his veins.   
  
_I know you wont_, said Relena with a sad smile. _that is why he needs you. You have to go back to him, you can't leave him now- not with so much at stake_.  
  
But I'll kill him.  
  
_You still believe that ne? Duo, you are not this death you have so tried to become. The only one you are killing is yourself_.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Please don't leave me- please, wake up, please. . .  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
You're wrong. It is my fault. Everyone, everything I have ever loved has died or left, or just forgot to stay.  
  
_People die, Duo. Nothing is forever, but that doesn't mean you should kill your own heart in a blind attempt to stop the inevitable. The road to peace is washed with blood and loss, but does that mean we should not strive for the purity on the other side?_ she held his face tightly between her palms, willing him to look through her eyes and understand. _Everything dies, but that should not stop you form living_.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Duo, I- I need you. Please, please wake up. . .  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
My parents, Solo, Father Maxwell- it was all my fault. Don't you see? I *_am*_ Shinigami, I'm a disease. How could I do that to him?  
  
_Duo, he loves you! You are the one that can not see! Would you kill your heart and break his because you are afraid he wont be there when you open your eyes?_  
  
Afraid.  
  
I'm not afraid.  
  
_Yes, yes you are_.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Why wont you open your eyes?  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
I wont love him, I wont hurt him- I can't. He clutched his hands to the sides of his head, wishing in vain for silence- for peace. I can't. . . I can't do this anymore.  
  
_You have to go back. Don't break a heart that is just learning how to feel- how to love. He needs you now. You have to go back._  
  
he shook his head franticly, still clasping his hands to his temples.  
  
_God, how can I make you understand! You are not death! You are Duo Maxwell! You have something to live for, you have someone to love, and fight for! Do not be ruled by your own fear, don't let your past ruin a future you can't understand. Just be Duo!_ her voice lowered to a frail whisper. _Just be Duo_.  
  
I can't let him bleed for me.  
  
_Protect him. Love him_, she kissed him tenderly on the forehead, tears sliding down her tanned cheeks. _You can save him- and yourself, if you only try. Please try Duo. Try, try, try._  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Tears- they were so, warm. So liquesent, and almost, magical. He had never cried before, the feeling was frightening at first, then the blazing pearl drops on his cheeks slid down his neck, clinging to the collar of his blood stained coat- tailing down his chin, falling like forgotten prayers onto the motionless eyelids which greedily hid those wondrous violet orbs from the world. He would never cry again. If crying meant he had to feel this agony within his soul then he would rather die, he would rather not feel at all. So weak- so helpless. But he did not care anymore, his heart was breaking.  
  
Please, God- don't take him. . . Open your eyes Duo- please wake up.  
  
He gathered the lifeless form of the only love he had ever known into his trembling arms, hoping that if he only held him tight enough he might be able to save him- give his own life with this closeness. He cursed God, cursed himself for not pushing Duo out of the bullets path in time. His hands were covered in Duo's blood- the blood seemed endless. How could so much blood come from one person? Had blood always been so red? He could not recall it ever having been so alive in battle. Blood had never seemed so hallow. He held him so tightly- wanting to crawl inside of him and die with his last breath- wanting to die in his dead arms, crying tears he had never known.  
  
_He- Heero_?  
  
He nearly jumped out of his skin as his own name was spoken against his cheek. He released the boy in his arms, tumbling back several feet. And as Duo brew breath, as his eyes opened, Heero was left without words- he thought he might never speak again. He blinked, praying that this was not a dream- hoping his mind was not playing cruel tricks on him.  
  
When Duo spoke his name again, Heero knew it was real- it had to be. He slowly, cautiously, neared the bed in which Duo lie, tangled in the blood soaked sheets. What happened? His voice was so weak, so quiet. It hurt Heero to see him this way- helpless, fragile.  
  
You got shot, whoever it was escaped with any information there might have been. He hardly recognized his own words as he spoke, he sounded like a mission report- no emotion in his voice.  
  
Why are you crying?  
  


_((Now, when storms of Fate o'ercast))____  
_  


It was such an innocent question. Heero pressed his still trembling fingertips against the unfamiliar skin of his own face. When he pulled away, they were shrouded in a warm moist substance. *_These are tears_?* his mind asked. They looked so harmless- why had he been so afraid of them?  
  
I- I, speaking had never seemed so difficult before. I thought I had lost you.  
  
Now it was Duo's turn to be struck speechless. No one had ever cried for him before. These new emotions- these frightening new emotions tore through him like an ungodly squall. He felt the burning pearl tears forming in his own eyes. *_I wont cry_,* he told himself. *_Boy's don't cry_.* But Heero was crying. Heero- the perfect soldier. Heero- the war machine. Heero, the living, breathing, frightened boy. Duo moved without thinking, without feeling the red hot pain tearing through his body. He lowered himself onto the floor beside his trembling companion, wrapping his arms around him with all the strength he could gather.  
  
I'll never leave you. Just promise me- promise we'll never say good bye.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
He sat bolt-upright in the bed with a scream that tore from the depths of his soul. His entire body shook violently beneath the heavy claustrophobic covers. Breathing heavily, he felt familiar comforting hands embrace him, the sudden movements instantly awakening Trowa. He stroked Quatre's hair, whispering soothing words against his shuddering skin.  
  
It's all right, he promised.   
  
No, it's not, Quatre whispered, finding his voice slowly. Fear still crawling in his words as he clung to Trowa desperately, drawing solace from his strong encircling arms. It's starting- it's all falling apart- and there is nothing we can do to stop it now.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
I don't understand. You know I'll always be here.  
  
Do I?  
  
Heero supposed that was fair. Before this night he had kept his feelings locked away from all the world. He had never even admitted this love to himself. It was selfish he now thought- perhaps even cowardly. And what if Duo had died? He never would have known. He would have died alone, thinking no one had ever loved him.  
  
I promise you I will never say good bye.   
  
The smallest of smiles played on Duo's lips, pulling Heero deeper into his embrace. He moved so that there noses touched, there mouths a mere inch apart. Thank you, he whispered so close to Heero's lips before capturing them in the softest most delicate kiss. After seconds he wished could have been eternity, he pulled away from his first kiss. The fierce burning of his wounds had returned ten-fold, biting, tearing, clawing at his skin with hellish fire. He tried to smile, if only for Heero's sake but it was no use- he slipped again into a dark unconsciousness.  
  
  
  
Heero scarcely left Duo's side for the rest of the week, tearing himself from that warm smile only long enough to make excuses pertaining to their absences, and talk one of the servants into getting his hands on some food and medical equipment for his fallen companion. Grey, the small servant boy was all too happy to help his new friend.  
  
Will you read to me?  
  
Sharing these stories quickly became a sought after time of day for both pilots. They would lie together, Duo usually cuddled against Heero while he read tales and poetry with his strong soothing voice.  
  
  
It was many and many a year ago,  
In a kingdom by the sea,  
That a maiden there lived whom you may know  
By the name of Annabel Lee;  
And this maiden she lived with no other thought  
Than to love and be loved by me.  
  
  
I like this girl, she knows exactly what she wants, Duo said with a faint smile. do you ever wonder what that's like? To live a simple kind of life?  
  
Heero nodded. But as long as there are people who want war, my place is on the battlefield. Duo frowned at this, but none the less, understood. As long as war raged outside- until there was peace at last, he would not feel right about giving up his fight to play house with Heero. His conscience would never allow such a selfish move.  
  
  
_I _was a child and _she_ was a child,  
In this kingdom by the sea,  
But we loved with a love that was more than love-  
I and my Annabel Lee-  
With a love that the winged seraphs of Heaven  
Coveted her and me.  
  
  
Do you think the angels covet us? Duo asked, turning to look into Heero's beautiful eyes, endlessly transfixed by the love he now saw in those once cold eyes- love for *_him*_ and no one else.  
  
Heero replied, placing a kiss on the tip of Duo's nose, earning himself a quiet blush and big sincere smile.   
  
  
And this was the reason that, long ago,  
In this kingdom by the sea,  
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling  
My beautiful Annabel Lee;  
So that her highborn kinsman came  
And bore her away from me,  
To shut her up in a sepulchre  
In this kingdom by the sea.  
  
  
I don't think I like this one anymore, Duo said with the tone of a disappointed child as the last lines of the poem still hung in the air. love shouldn't be taken for granted like that, and the angels should know better. Heero could not help but smile slightly as Duo pouted over the separation of fictitious lovers.  
  
All the great love stories are tragic, said Heero. Romeo and Juliet, The Little Sea Maid, Swan Lake-  
  
Edward Scissors Hands? Duo interrupted playfully.  
  
Heero smiled again. I suppose, he said, ruffling Duo's hair. Love is about sacrifice, and selflessness. It's the purest most innocent of emotions. But sometimes, you have to lose what you treasure to know you even had it. He waited several moments for a response before realizing Duo had fallen asleep in his arms, visions of angels with pristine wings greedily clutching him, pulling him away from Heero.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Something is seriously wrong, we haven't heard from Heero in more than three days, this just isn't like him.   
  
Perhaps he and Maxwell are enjoying a romantic getaway, Wufei suggested with a smugness all his own, but Quatre did not seem amused.  
  
He hasn't contacted us since they went to investigate that old hospital, said Quatre with concern bleeding from every word. what if something happened?  
  
They're big boys Quatre, I'm sure they can take care of themselves. Wufei and Trowa continued their game of chess as Quatre continued to voice small concerns. Although they all found it odd, not hearing from Heero for several days- they also did not find reason to jump to any rash conclusions. Wufei interjected after a few moments silence. those two could use some time alone. Wufei smirked at his own remark. Seems he had known about those two before they had even admitted it to themselves. He and Duo had become friends, despite Duo's annoying persistent happiness, and his own cold exterior. Wufei had a way of reading people, and those two had been as easy as _see spot run_ they wore there emotions plainly, though perhaps no normal human eye could see it. Wufei only congratulated himself further as Quatre fell silent and Trowa's lips worked a tiny smile of their own.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Something's not right, Heero said aloud though he knew there was no one to hear his words. Duo had been sleeping soundly for the last two hours and Heero had decided to check over their mission description and update the other pilots, but something was tugging at the corners of his mind. He had tried to contact Trowa after Duo had been shot, requesting that he, or one of the other pilots might take over for him- but he had not heard back. That was unlike Trowa, he thought to himself. Trowa had always been prompt in his replies, he had always been the reliable one.  
  
After more thinking aloud, and several system diagnostics, Heero rose from the hard uncomfortable chair and stretched his sore limbs. He decided to wait until Duo woke before looking into this further. Perhaps the other pilots had all been called away on missions of their own- Heero pushed the thoughts from his mind. His body ached for sleep and Duo's warm embrace seemed ever so inviting.  
  
Then it hit him. Jumping from the bed, and waking Duo in the process, Heero was back at his laptop- typing away feverishly.  
  
Duo moaned and covered his eyes with his hands. Good morning to you too, he mumbled sarcastically before rolling onto his side, watching Heero's fingers tap rapidly at the keys. Then he stopped- just staring at the glowing screen. what's wrong?  
  
Someone has hacked into my laptop, At this, Duo's jaw dropped. Heero's computer had been impenetrable even to him, who as it had turned out was quite a genius when it came to such mechanical things. they've stopped all communication- in and out. Heero returned to his typing, leaving Duo to fathom a hacker superior to his partner.  
  
Heero cursed himself for not detecting the virus, and for not checking for that first. Their cover had been blown, but the enemy was biding its time. Why? If they knew- Heero's thoughts were interrupted by a shrill frantic knocking on the door.  
  
Inan! Inan! a little accented voice called from the other side.  
  
Duo asked sleepily, still not quite recovered from his injuries and left grumpy by the odd awakening Heero had given him.  
  
Yes, Inan! Come quick! Please, the little voice pleaded.  
  
Wh- what's going' on? Duo asked, noticing Heero tuck a gun against the small of his back. *_This isn't good_,* his mind whispered. But there was no time for doubts.  
  
No time to explain! Grey cried, Please! You have to come with me!  
  
Duo looked over his shoulder at Heero, asking silently for his take on the situation. When Heero nodded once, Duo pulled himself to his feet, still shaky beneath his weight, and stumbled to the door, pulling it open to reveal a very disheveled and frightened looking boy.  
  
Come on! he cried, sprinting down the hallway without allowing Duo to inquire of their destination. Duo followed reluctantly, slightly calmed by the feel of Heero's quiet presence following in the shadows behind him.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Awaken, koneko- all the players are in place.  
  
The strong hands of the quiet one slid down her back, sending a nipping chill up her spine. Hands so soft, yet stained- hands that held the world in their dark embrace, toying with the mouse-like peoples as would a wicked cat. Callused fire bitten fingertips played along her neck as a gentle kiss traced along her jawbone.  
  


_((Darkly my Present and my Past,))____  
_  


Dorothy rolled onto her back, tuning cloud-blue eyes on the form above her. A tiny smile pulled at the corners of her lips as another soft kiss landed upon her throat. She gathered the silken sheets around herself and made to stand but was pinned by an ominous hand.  
  
How do you propose we win this battle if you wont even let me out of bed? Dorothy chided playfully with narrowed eyes and a venomous smile. The light cast by dancing flames of the nearby candles flicked across her skin, delighting in the curves and shadows of her slender body.  
  
The other's hand moved to caress her cheek, drawing along her collar bones with practiced grace. Ah, but this is where I want you, said the intoxicating voice of her quiet lover, the milky tone wrapping round the quiet blaze of ignited wicks. there was a soft nip at her earlobe before the other continued. no one can defeat us. We are gods among mice.  
  
Are you always so sure of everything?  
  
Always, koneko.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
Where are we going Grey? What the hell is going on? Duo strained to keep up with the frantic young boy though in his current state it was easier said than done. For all his questions he was met with only silence, the labored breathing of the small boy, and the reassurance of Heero- prowling the darkness behind them. He could tell Heero was tense and uncertain, he nearly blew his own cover while carelessly knocking against an old suit of armour displayed along one endless hall or another. Duo's mind was racing, filled with curiosity owed to the strange behavior of his little friend, and the nearly clumsy way in which Heero was carrying himself- something had gotten under their skin and Duo was left to mutely fathom what might have unnerved each of them to this extent.  
  
Perhaps it was lack of sleep, malnutrition, or even blood loss, but Duo's thoughts seemed to be leading him in circles. Something terrible had defiantly happened- that explained Grey's hurried cries for assistance, but he failed to see how or why it warranted his presence. In the grand scheme of things he was nothing more than a simple foot soldier, a nameless guard among countless faceless guards in the Sanc Kingdom. Then there was Heero's seemingly stealth-less performance behind him. There was an unsettling feeling deep inside of him, something he could not express in words or actions and Heero being apparently oblivious to the consequences of his rather *_loud*_ actions was not helping matters much. Though grateful for the watchful trained eye of his partner, almost like a guardian angel- Duo grew anxious and paranoid, if either of them were discovered roaming the palace at such a late hour with little purpose the guards would certainly have their heads. Then it hit him, like a well placed missile from a mobile doll- there were no guards patrolling the dark corridors, no looming or intimidating protecters of her majesty.  
  
*_This is not good_-* his mind repeated over and over until the words ceased to make sense. The castle was quiet- eerily so. Too still, too dead. That began to explain Heero's careless noises, he was testing them, trying to draw any sign of life from the hushed passage ways and absent hunters. Duo mentally smacked himself- Heero was never clumsy, never anything but the perfect soldier. Every move, every word and decision was planed and scrutinized by that perfect brain of his. Nothing came from Heero without purpose, without a deeper meaning, without some tactical advantage earned.  
  
*_Well_,* he chided himself. *_That explains half of it_.* Though Grey's behavior was still lost on him. He could not imagine what could have called away all the self riotous guards and put such a desperation in Grey's manner. His mind played out several scenarios- perhaps something had happened to Upir, or the kingdom was under attack again, or Dorothy had finally snapped, and eaten half of the army alive- The latter, though highly unlikely, seemed to be the thought to get the most attention, he had never trusted the golden-haired vixen, and her involvement in the sudden scare was definite.  
  
The whole thing, the mission, the kingdom, the princess, it all felt wrong to him. There was something in the shadows, some frightened drown out whisper, some bewildered cry though the night, something inside of him that had known all along- known he was faced with an enemy of pure darkness. An enemy he might not be strong enough to battle himself, but then again, he was not alone anymore- he had his guardian angel, his Heero.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
And what will Upir tell the nation?  
  
Exactly what they want to hear. Have faith koneko, human beings are blinded by their own selfish and petty desires. The people want peace, they want to live their pathetic lives day upon day in a clouded yet blissful ignorance. They will believe all that they are told if it leaves their own daily regiments untouched.  
  
Dorothy brushed a stray hair away from her eyes, searching the eyes of her companion for some sense of truth. She saw her own bloodthirsty depths mirrored in those quiet reds- her own lost self, and a shimmer of something warm, something that soothed and whispered tiny meaningless words that meant life itself when dancing through the air. She bit back a sincere smile as she thought it might be love- an emotion she never dreamed might be bestowed upon her or even reciprocated. Love was still much of a mystery- one she mused might soon be known to her. Hastily, she cast such pointless fantasies from her mind and concentrated fully on the upcoming battle. The time was at hand, but she never thought she would feel so curiously reluctant. Upir's throne had been secured, the quiet one had blood to bathe within, but when the battle was over- when the war was won- Dorothy still had no home to return to.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  
  


Relena shuddered as the sun set on her dreamscape. Sinking below the glistening waters of the horizon the dying sun had never before looked so tragic, and a land which had never known darkness felt the agonies of the deepest night.  
  
_It's up to you now, Duo_. As she spoke, an unholy wind ripped through the branches of her sakura tree, scattering fragile pink petals across the star less skies. _Please, don't be defeated- please be strong. . ._  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
By the time they reached the tall elegant doors of the throne room, Duo was breathing heavily and holding a shaky hand to his recently wrought wound. He felt as though he might collapse, and frankly, welcomed the idea of getting some rest- even pain induced.   
  
Grey had not said a word as they traced their way through sinuous halls and past vacated guard posts, Heero always a step and a shadow behind. Grey had either not caught onto his presence or had not cared- he seemed rather involved in his own feverish thoughts as he led the way to these mahogany carved doors, doors which led one way or another to the enemy and the future.  
  
As Grey labored to push the tall doors aside, Duo held his breath- suddenly afraid of what might reside beyond the narrow threshold. At first his eyes were greeted only by the darkness of the mute throne room, but as his pupils adjusted to the lack of lighting he could see the frail outlines of a figure upon the gold and crimson throne. He turned to demand some answers from the frightened serving boy only to find him gone, disappeared like breath into the wind.  
  
So, we meet at last, Duo Maxwell.  
  
  
  
part four: the bells  
  
Who are you? Duo asked the figure loved by darkness. It was a silly question really, when he thought about it. Here was a suspicious presence in Sanc's throne who knew his name and all he could think to inquire was the identity of this mysterious and seemingly unwelcome phantom. He supposed it was a valid question, but with all that had happened in this night, What the hell is going on?' seemed a little more appropriate.  
  
The shadow clad form at first made no move to answer him- then in a quiet, scarcely audible voice said; I am a god among mice.  
  
A little full of yourself ne? Duo said, placing his hands on his hips. *_Smilin' and sarcastic till the end._* his mind scolded. *_You're gonna get yourself in so much more trouble than ya bargained for_.* But he could not help it, jokes and smiles were something of a defense mechanism for the young American.  
  
Soft laughter bit through the air, cascading across the dead wake between the two unmoving figures. It was a cold laugh, a sound made by the heartless and the dead, a sound he would never forget- a sound that came from inhuman murderers, a sound which had destroyed the only home he had ever known, and haunted him every time silence pressed too heavily against him.   
  
He could no longer sense Heero, he felt suddenly alone as his hand moved to twine around the silver cross resting round his neck.  
  
What do you know of gods, Duo Maxwell, or rather- Shinigami, the dark stranger whispered in a delicate purr. what has your god ever done for his people?  
  
Just because god isn't handing out miracles, he began, confused as to why he was answering such an odd question. that doesn't mean he doesn't care- what would the point in living be if everything was handed to us on a silver platter?  
  
the ominous one commented softly. is that how you've come to accept the hand fate has dealt you? A rhythmic sound tore the air, a sound like the tick of a clock, or the clink of chains- shackles. And fate, it seems, has not dealt you the best of hands.  
  
A thin trickle of candle light, like the thread of a spider crept along the tall elegant walls, casting little shadows across ruby and violet eyes. Duo caught the slightest of illuminated glimpses at this vermin god. Tall, slender, yet with an air of strength- an aura of power and feral grace bled from the dark appirition. A long, thick braid swayed over one shoulder and past the waist, much like Duo's though it had the threatening appearance of some ancient and holy weapon. The figure was clad in a thin fabric of a darkest shade, adorned with bantam shimmering ribbon.  
  
As the light danced across the figure, Duo was suddenly aware of another presence in the midnight chamber. A harsh chill bit at his spine, running through his entire body with a cold intensity. Golden tresses caught in an invisible breeze behind the sun-starved body upon the throne. A familiar shape took to the light, drinking it like a cat in the warmth cast by morning windows.  
  
*_Why am I not surprised?_* he nearly laughed as flames caught in the nail-blue eyes of Dorothy Catalonia. But as unnerving as her presence was, more so was the shadow of a bound figure behind her. She smiled her heartless smile as she noticed the direction of Duo's stare.  
  
she said, with a ghost of pleased laughter. I see you've recognized our trophy boy.  
  
Duo felt an agony pour through him, stronger than any pain he had ever known. He thought his heart was breaking. Breath, movement, thought- all fled him as he caught a glimpse of tortured prussian blues beneath shackles and blood.  
  
  
  
Sadistic laughter bore into the still air once more as Duo fell to his knees. Dorothy's malicious grin grew, revealing pristine dagger sharp teeth. So, you two have met before? she said, sarcasm dripping from harshly spoken words. She drew a thin dagger from her boot, casting shadows from the folds of her crimson gown with every movement. The thin blade caught the light of the candles like a venus fly trap, greedily draining the luminous golds from each flame, glinting a small victory and lusting after droplets of blood promised by its possessor.  
  
Tell me, Duo Maxwell, did you truly believe you could defeat us? Within her cold finger's grasp, the dagger began to trace bantam unidentifiable designs through the air- reveling in the ecstasy and anticipation of feeding. Then, with a sound embodied of hell itself, the hungry blade sank vampiric teeth into the soft flesh of her captive.  
  
Duo was on his feet before he even registered the command. He charged blindly in the direction of that pitiless broken sound- a sound he had known on the battlefield, in his memories- and nightmares. A sound which alerted one to the spilling of blood, the pain of wounds, and the knowledge that you were powerless against your attacker- the sound of torn flesh. He had moved scarcely ten feet when an iron strong hand closed around the top of his braid, tilting his eyes skyward and dragging his body back onto his knees. He hardly had time to cry out.  
  
Do not try to be valiant, a quiet voice purred into his ear, so close he could feel the warmth of breath and smell the other's perfumed hair.  
  
Let him go, Duo whispered through clenched teeth as the hold on his braid tightened, forcing his eyes to meet those of the hunter. *_Red eyes_-*   
  
At this, the other laughed quietly. Only a puppet- and I am the puppet master.  
  
Who are you?  
  
I am Bast, little one. He felt the moist breath on the back of his neck as the quiet one continued. Do you know how Upir came to be my child? Do you know the things that haunt her in the night?  
  
Duo remained silent, running a finger across the knife concealed in his waist band. He calculated his chances- he could not make a rash attack towards freedom while Dorothy still held Heero at the end of her thirsty blade, and so he bided his time- listening to the tale the quiet one began to weave.  
  
Do you know why the Peacecrafts never told the world of this daughter? Why they cast her to the wolves and never looked back? Why the people hold no records of Upir Peacecraft?  
  
he choked out, still fighting slightly against the hand on his braid.  
  
Lady Peacecraft was a beautiful woman. Like the stars before dawn, shimmering and pristine- an angel in this decaying world. That is why he wanted her, the softly spoken words clung to the darkness like a lifeline, soaking each sound in the shadows of those ruby eyes. he used to watch her from the branches of the willows beside her window, satisfied simply to watch- until he was born.  
  
Duo listened intently, searching each word for an opportunity- a chance to act, to fight, to escape. Bast kept him still with this vampire hold, it seemed to drain his strength- bleed him dry. From where this gauntlet held him he saw nothing but the dance of the shadows and the moon lit panes of stained glass above him. He wanted to see Heero, draw courage from his deep soothing eyes- anything but this hand on his neck, and heavenly scene of the star kissed painted window.  
  
He wanted to die that night, when Milliardo Peacecraft curled into the hearts of mother and father. He wanted to hold her heart that way- he loathed the way this child strengthened the bonds between, the love she felt for Lord Peacecraft. He wanted her to love him that way. The voice dropped to the faintest of whispers- lips pressing gently against the lobe of his ear. But then he thought to himself; Owen, Owen, she can love you that way. With a child, she will love you.  
  
When he took her, he wanted to hear her call his name, promise eternal love- but she never made a sound. She did not cry out, in pleasure, pain or fear. Strangely calm, serene and accepting. He though if they were a family she would love him with the same look in her eyes, the same smile only Lord Peacecraft ever saw. He had never been more wrong.  
  
Peacecraft had him hunted down like an animal, tortured, bled, and silenced all in the name of pacifism. In the name of his wife who carried a child who she could never love. A child like a disease that sets in and feeds upon itself. She hadn't the heart to destroy the child. Could not abort a living creature with no control over exactly how it came to be.  
  
She spared the life of this child, this abomination, but could not look at her- the fragile infant with the same red eyes as her unwelcome father.  
  
She was raped, Duo said, more to himself than to the other. that's why they never told anyone about the baby.  
  
Yes, the child was left in that filthy hospital to die. They never dreamed she would live through the night. But the midwife, Guin Billie, knew the Peacecrafts denounced this tainted babe, this innocent child- they never gave her a chance.   
  
Guin recorded the story Lady Peacecraft had confided in her, scribed in a tiny leather journal. She took the frail child into her home, raised her like her own blood, her own daughter.  
  
A fragmented thought scraped the surface of Duo's squalling conciseness. *_Billie_.* He remembered the name from some distant place he could not quite recall. The puzzle was beginning to take shape- it was beginning to make sense. *_That's why they never say she's really a Peacecraft- daughter of the throne, missing heir, but never Lord Peacecraft's blood because she wasn't- only her mother's blood gave her claim_.* Duo tried again without success to loosen this vice like grip and find Heero's eyes with his own. He wanted to lose himself in those eyes and find this all just a bad dream.  
  
She lived with Guin and her husband all of her childhood, they became her mother and her father and soon, she had a tiny brother of her own. One to protect and look after, a true family, just for her.  
  
Her parents worked for the Peacecrafts, servants to the grand pacifist family. Upir and her tiny brother were schooled in the ways of peasant and noble all their lives. Her manners, her grace, her softly spoken comforts, all burned into her from an early age. Were it not for her eyes- had she not the need to remain hidden, she might have been a fine addition to Peacecraft's staff, but Guin knew better. She knew those eyes betrayed her, and so, Upir lived her life in the shadows of the palace. They never even knew she existed- even right under their noses.  
  
When her parents died, the mystery surrounding her birth, the reason behind her seclusion became known to her- by that little leather binding Guin had inked the truth within, and a little salvation. Her eyes were at last opened, truly opened, in the winter of this past year.  
  
Do you know what it is like to live a simple life? To have a family that loves you, a home that shelters, something to live for- to live in. Do you know what it's like to have it all taken away? To awaken to dead parents, a crying child, and the realization that no one- not even your own blood wanted you?  
  
Sorry to interrupt, Duo scoffed, pulling against the hand on his braid. but how do you fit into this tale? When does it all come back to you?  
  
said Bast with a hushed and hungry smile, trailing hands from braid to throat. Duo instantly regretted his inquiry as those frigid hands closed lightly, yet with the threat of fathomless strength around his neck. I am nothing more than a phantom. I am a shadow in Upir's eyes, the darkness in her soul. She rules her lost kingdom with grace and compassion, I rule her, sadly, with pain and fear. The people love her with hearts of gold while the soldiers respect me with wills of iron. We are two parts of a whole- the yin and the yang- completion.  
  
You're controlling her.  
  
Oh, but it is so much more than that.  
  
I don't understand,  
  
How could you? The quiet one moved to stand before him, keeping agile and ready fingertips dancing along the smooth skin of Duo's throat- ruby eyes piercing violets with the darkest of feral stares. I have become so much more than your god, more than you could ever hope to be. I have it all.  
  
No, you don't.  
  
Before Bast had time to silence him, Duo drew the knife from his waist band. Turning with cat-like reflexes, he buried the white hot blade beneath the flesh of his captor. He expected a scream- a desperate plea, or move to stop the flow of crimson life spilling over the folds of plum-colored silks and pale jutting collar bones. But there was nothing- deafening silence, and he lingered a moment too long. He left Bast mesmerized by the blood and ran with speed he had never known to where Dorothy held his Heero- but he was too late.  
  
  
  
Dorothy's breath caught in her throat as she watched helplessly- the dagger tearing through her lover's flesh, blinded by the sound of the wound. Without thinking, without words or tears she raised her own blade. The rush of the kill, the scent of the hurt, the feel of the battle took over- her blood-lusting side drown out her other, the soldier within her acted without hesitation, plunging diamond hard steel into the side of her shackled companion. He cried out once, only once as the teeth found his insides. She wanted him to scream, beg for his life. She wanted to break him. She wanted to taste his tears and feel the life flea his tattered form. She wanted him to pay- pay dearly- with his very life for the pain his confidant had caused her own. She could feel his strength draining now as he leaned against her slightly. She let him slip, hitting the ground with a harsh crack as the chains kept him from trying to soften the fall.  
  
Slowly- with trained grace and calm, Dorothy crossed the marbled floors to where Bast knelt in a pool of blood once held within hallow veins. She gathered her lover into her arms, applying pressure to the wound along the once beautiful and strong hollow of Bast's neck. This is not over, she breathed quietly before disappearing into the darkness.  
  
  
Duo was deaf to Dorothy's whispered threat. He reached Heero's side as those icy words escaped colder lips, but he was lost to it all.  
  
  
  
Silence- only silence.  
  
He checked frantically for a pulse, and though found one it was so weak, too soft and fleeting. he cried, forgetting calm and composure. Somebody help me! His hands searched blindly over Heero's form in the faint candle's light, trying to find his wound- cursing himself for his failed attempt at heroism. He might as well have buried the dagger in Heero's flesh himself for all the good his rash actions had done.  
  
His trembling fingers found at last the warm rivulets of blood escaping Heero's side. He pressed his hands against the long cut with all the strength he could gather, but it was not enough. The thick, hot blood forced its way past his fingers, soaking through the sleeves of his shirt and dancing a morbid waltz along his own unharmed skin.  
  
No- Heero. . . I'm sorry- I. . . Please, please don't die Heero. You can't leave me- you promised we would never say good bye- you promised!  
  
He warped his arms around the motionless form of the only one he had ever loved. He swallowed the hurt, the fear, the anger, replacing them with a silent prayer.  
  
At morn- at noon- at twilight dim- Maria, thou hast heard my hymn. In joy and wo- in good and ill- Mother of God, be with me still. . .  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  


  
He knew he was dreaming. He knew by the warmth and beauty around him that this wondrous place could not possibly be real. He watched new born clouds twirl in a light summer breeze, along with the translucent pink petals of the sakura tree. He lost himself in the feel of the soft wind lulled grass beneath him and the kiss of sunlight on his cold skin. Some tiny part of him wondered if he was dead, if this magnificent place was in fact heaven, though the more rational part of his mind reminded him if he was dead- heaven would not have been his destination.  
  
It was breathtaking- the serene indigo gleam of the waters, the sway of nature upon the shore, and the pure innocent shimmer of the sky. He was afraid if he so much as blinked, this beautiful vision might flee, run back into the sacred hearts of eternity. He never wanted to leave this holy place- this lush and free place. He wanted to sleep within the shade of the wise old trees, swim in the clear and untainted water of the warm sun dappled lake where he could finally be at peace.  
  
_Is that really what you want?_ Absorbed in his dreaming, he had not heard the quiet approach of the slight blue-eyed girl. She stood behind the trunk of the majestic tree, watching him with ever so sad indigo eyes.  
  
I'm dead, aren't I? he asked, his voice void of emotion.  
  
_No, not yet_.  
  
I wanted to die, he said in a hushed broken tone. I want it to be over.  
  
_I don't believe you_.  
  
You of all people should understand, he said, pulling his tired limbs into a sitting position and turning to face her. You always tried to stop me. I knew it wouldn't be long after you died. I knew my turn was coming.  
  
_You have someone to live for now. You made a promise Heero_. She left her vigil behind the sakura to sit beside him in the tall grass. _You can't stay here_.  
  
He looked away from those somber bright eyes. He could not face her this way. Part of him did not want to go back- wanted to stay in this magical place and forget war, blood and death. Forget Shinigami. He wanted to curl up in the sunlight and know nothing but tranquility and warmth. *_Duo_-* he wanted Duo. This realization was frightening and lovely all at once. The Perfect Soldier had found someone to fight for.  
  


_((Let my Future radiant shine))____  
_  
~ooO*Ooo~  
  


His eyes opened slowly, each movement more painful than the last. The afternoon sun spilled languidly through an opened window beside him, warming his skin and filling the sterile hospital room with the scents of nature and serenity. He savored each breath, filling his lungs with the blessed tastes of living air. His still aching eyes searched across the blank walls and window panes until they found a familiar form, clad in black and nervously toying with the end of its chestnut braid.  
  
  
  
The said pilot nearly jumped out of his skin. He spun from his place in the hard and uncomfortable hospital chair, not trusting his ears as his name was whispered into the heavy air of the disinfectant scented chamber. With few hasty strides of long muscular legs Duo was kneeling beside the crisp medical issue bed where his fallen love lied, with hazy diluted pain in his prussian eyes.  
  
he spoke the other's name as though merely saying it made him real. He ran hesitant fingers through dark unkempt hair, lingering slightly as his hand found the soft cheek of the only man that mattered now.  
  
I feel like shit, said Heero through a ragged cough.  
  
Duo commented quietly. you are a sight in intervenes accessories. His uneasy laugh was drown by the steady beep of the heart monitor beside him. It hurt him to see Heero this way- just as fragile as he was, with machines stealing the musical rhythm of his heart and twisting it into the hollow mechanical whisper of medical technology. I'm so sorry, he whispered with downcast eyes. it was my fault- if I hadn't-  
  
Heero raised a hand to Duo's forehead, brushing stray hairs away from those beautiful violet eyes. it's all right, I'm fine. Duo's eyes remained averted though he leaned into Heero's comforting touch. When silence set in between them Heero closed his eyes and asked simply; What happened?  
  
I made a stupid move, tried to play the knight, nearly got you killed, and let Bast and Dorothy get away. That's about it. Duo shifted slightly, reopening guilty wounds.  
  
And the mission?  
  
Aborted. Without any evidence against Upir, or the kingdom they feel our time is better spent destroying tangible enemies.  
  
  
  
I know I blew it, Duo said, not daring to look into Heero's magnificent blue eyes as he spoke. I'm sorry.  
  
Heero placed a strong hand beneath Duo's chin, forcing him to meet his gaze. It wasn't your fault, he said in a tone resembling that of comfort, reassurance and the want to soothe. I would have done the same thing.  
  
Liar. You tend to look before you leap. I'm more of a *_look while I'm leaping_* kinda guy, usually gets me into trouble. Duo tried to smile, or even laugh at himself but the hurt was still too deep. I almost lost you- I almost got you killed. I can't forgive myself, even if you can.  
  
Commanding all the illusive strength he could, Heero gathered Duo into his arms- trapping him in an embrace he willed never to end. He wished his touch could communicate, idly hoping closeness could show him all the words that could not come close to expressing the feelings within him. He settled instead for a feather soft kiss and whispered Ai shiteru.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  
  


_So then, it's happily ever after now?_  
  
Not quite, he reminded her from his place among the tall wind tousled blades of emerald grass. From where he lied, he could see little more than her feet dangling from a high branch of the sakura tree. Bast is still out there somewhere.  
  
_Biding time I presume_, said Relena with a quiet sigh. _but let's not dwell on such things. Can we just play at happily ever after?_  
  
Laughing softly he promised; Anything you want, ojosan.  
  
  
  
He shielded his eyes against the sun, squinting to see her through the swaying branches of the old tree, but she remained hidden by the smoke-colored bark and delicate pink petals.  
  
_What do you think about reincarnation?_ He could feel the anxiety in her words, the doubt not quite concealed by her diplomatic tone. _I mean- what would you think about me being reincarnated?_  
  
How long has this been an option?  
  
_Since the beginning,_ she said in a whisper. _don't be angry with me, I- I always thought death was forever. I was scared to go back. I can't be sure of how I'll come back, or if I'll retain any of my memories, but-_  
  
It's up to you Relena, I don't wanna pressure you but I sure as hell want you to come back.  
  
Slowly, she climbed down from the handsome tree and sat beside him in the lush grass. _Even if I found you again, you might not recognize me. What then?_  
  
I'll always recognize you, Relena you're the only person who knows me completely. We'll always find each other.  
  
_Kindred spirits_, she whispered with a sincere smile. _but what about your soul mate? He doesn't know your everything?_  
  
Not yet, but we've plenty of time for that. He could hardly repress the enormous grin tugging at the corners of his lips. One question though, he insisted, rising to a sitting position so he might look her in the eyes. How was all of this possible? Why am I able to see you this way?  
  
_Are you complaining?_  
  
No, just curious.  
  
Relena remained still a moment, obviously contemplating how to word her answer best. Some time past before she ventured an explanation. _You call yourself the God of Death, Shinigami- and I suppose it's not entirely true but, you know death- you know him like a lover, it makes you venerable to other's suffering and at the same time, opens you to the lost. I know it doesn't make much sense- not now anyway but I guess the simplest way to say it is; you are loved by death, so he tells you his secrets_.  
  


~ooO*Ooo~  
  


Merry Christmas Duo.   
  
His eyes opened slowly, all to aware of the bright December light reflecting off the crisp snow outside. His sleepy violet gaze was met by the truest of love mirrored within the prussian starring back, the smallest of secret smiles playing on Heero's features.  
  
Merry Christmas. He arched his back slightly, raising enough to place a tiny winter's kiss on those smiling lips. He would have been content to snuggle deep within the warm thick blankets of the jade-colored bed with the love of his life, but Heero it seemed, had other plans.  
  
There's something I want to show you, he said, with a devious little grin one usually found on Duo. Pulling on his coat, and his reluctant koi out of bed, he made his way through the twisting cobble stone streets of the humble city and to a small yet glorious, and cozy little park. Close your eyes.  
  
Duo did as he was told, and Heero took his hand, leading him into the heart of the tiny park. Snow clung like leaves to every branch of each willow and sakura, whispering tales of love and peace, laughter and fondly spoken words hung in the cool air, lifting spirits and soothing wounds. They stopped suddenly, Duo fiercely fighting off the urge to peek.  
  
You can open your eyes now, Heero whispered softly, releasing Duo's hand.  
  
The sight that greeted those violet orbs made him want to cry- not tears of loss and anguish which he had known so many times before, but tears of joy and love. Before him, in a small snow adorned clearing stoop a sculpted angel with pristine wings and a long wind caught braid which seemed to flow and dance around this angel without having to move at all. Beneath the angel carved in pearly white marble read;  
  
Maxwell Park, dedicated to the memory of Father Maxwell and Sister Helen. followed by a little prayer Duo knew by heart.  
  
At morn- at noon- at twilight dim-  
Maria! thou hast heard my hymn!  
In joy and wo- in good and ill-  
Mother of God, be with me still!  
When the hours flew brightly by,  
And not a cloud obscured the sky,  
My soul, lest it should truant be,  
Thy grace did guide to thine and thee;  
Now, when storms of fate o'ercast  
Darkly my Present and my Past,  
Let my Future radiant shine  
With sweet hopes of thee and thine.  
  
Duo placed a hand over his mouth, fighting back tears he knew would soon escape. He reached to caress the small prayer etched in marble, Oh, Heero- he wanted to say more, he wanted to thank him and smother him in kisses but the angel eyes held his own, and he knew for the first time in his life that he was not alone. He felt strong arms encircle his waist from behind, and a soft deep voice whispered into his ear;  
  
You like it?  
  
I- I love it. I love you, Heero.  
  
And as he turned around in this embrace to kiss his soul mate with a passion neither of them had ever know before, he did not notice the honey-blond kitten with the big indigo gaze perched in a low branch of a sakura tree, watching their kiss with her kitty-cat smile, and translucent tears in her big ocean eyes.  


  
~ooO* the end *Ooo~


	5. Epilogue Spirits of the Dead

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P ALIGN=CENTERFONT COLOR="#AA0000"EpilogueBR  
Spirits of the DeadBR  
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PFONT COLOR="#333333" Ruby eyes flew open as a tender kiss warmed the hollow of a wounded neck and light hands soothed the hurt in a bound chest strangely seductive. It its venerability and curves accented by the tightness of these binding, thin bandages stained with a blood so coveted few ever knew the tantalizing dance of crimson against sun-starved skin. BR  
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Those red eyes found at last the calming sight of cloud-blue depths, mirroring perhaps love, comfort, loyalty and the hunger of a revenge her silver blade ached for as much as her own lusting heart.BR  
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The voice emerged as little more than a pained whisper, a deep hurt resounding through the simple sounds of the quiet word.BR  
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Shhh. . . Dorothy purred, snuggling against the earthbound form in the narrow bed. I will have blood for blood- I promise you, this too will be avenged.BR  
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P ALIGN=CENTERFONT COLOR="#AA0000"~ooO*Ooo~/FONTFONT COLOR="#333333"BR  
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PBR  
What can be expected from Hymns sequel, Eulalie- A SongBR  
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The truth behind Basts ruby eyes revealed, Dorothy battles inner demons in a desperate search to find her own tattered heart- Heero and Duo try to make for themselves a simple kind of life, and the newly born Relena finds her place in a new and uncertain life. All answers revealed in Eulalie- A Song.BR  
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/FONTFONT COLOR="#AA0000"i hope you have enjoyed my story, please- please review- i love getting comments.BR  
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disclaimer: i dont own anything! im just a luckless writer, nothing more.BR  
was written by Edgar Allan Poe in 1835, i dont own that either- just obsessed with Poe, wish i had even a drop of his talent. The title for the sequel, Eulalie- A Song is also a short ballad written by Poe.BR  
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P ALIGN=CENTER*Nataku*BR  
((nataku@elfwood.zzn.com))/P  
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